Continuing our pattern of seeing each other all of the time, the Young Dutchman and I had made plans when we signed off in the wee hours of the morning to get together for tea today at the Wolseley, our favourite place. So after I got up early and got us both tickets an upcoming dinner at the Oriental Club (the bastard slept in and made me get up, although he did apologise later and say he felt bad about that), I managed to stop yawning long enough to get out to the Wolesley for tea at 5 PM.
I arrived before the Young Dutchman, so I got a table and got seated, and about five minutes later he joined me. We then had a long and meandering conversation, mostly about him and his panic about potentially not getting into Oxford, because now he so desperately wanted to go. I think it's mostly the frustration that now there is nothing more he can do about it, that he just has to sit and wait. Hence, even though it wasn't much of a two-way conversation, but I was happy to indulge him as he went on his ramble of self-doubt and anxious recriminations. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to, right? Plus, I was happy enough with my sacre torte and hot chocolate that I didn't even blink when he stole my chocolate swizzle sticks. As he said to me as he took them, "You've had enough chocolate!"
Then, when we had finally finished our cake and hot chocolate and had been chatting for ages, he suggested we head to the Carlton Club for drinks. Once there, we had two G&Ts and a nice chat, although I was somewhat distressed as he talked with such disregard for the girls he so easily seduced and discarded. Being that he's only 23, I'm not sure how much is just chat and how much is reality, but he is so smooth and self-confident, I actually don't doubt that he can easily seduce girls when he wants. Yet I couldn't quite seem to make him understand that simply cooking breakfast for a girl didn't make you a "nice guy" if you never called her again. It was actually rather surprising how many girls he knew that he couldn't call because he was so sure that they hated him at this point...
I was also surprised at one point when he was talking about a lovely Argentinean girl in our social crowd, and said, "She's cute, but I think she's really old." Same thing was said about Piers, "he's really much older", as well as a few other people I can't remember. I hadn't really thought about the ages of any of them, but would never describe them as "really old". Of course I was tempted to ask, "Do you think I'm 'really old'?" but didn't in case I didn't like the answer!! Ah, the joys of hanging out with a 23-year old...
As the hour was growing later, I was getting hungry and wondered if I might be able to slip off to the O&C for dinner. He read my mind though, yet protesting that he was broke (we did have quite a conversation about finances, and I was a bit distressed about how poorly he manages his money), I told him I would buy him dinner.
So we went to the O&C (third stop of the evening!) and had quite a nice dinner, with good wine too, although he was somewhat annoyed that the staff didn't pour for us, leaving him, as the man, with the task. Also after swearing me to absolute secrecy, he told me a long convoluted story about the party he was at last Saturday, where the birthday girl had been flirting with him and kissing him. Yet annoyed with her presumption, he decided to mess with her head by faking a text to his brother claiming he was falling in love with her. I didn't really entirely get it, yet he seemed quite concerned that I not give away the secret of this massive head-fake. In truth, little danger of that since I didn't really quite understand it...
After dinner, we made our way up to the silent library and sat in front of the fire reading bits of books to each other, and continuing our conversation. I was then quite distressed when he spoke of perhaps seducing the Argentine girl (who is lovely) all as part of his grand plan to humble the birthday girl from last Saturday. Because he knew it would upset the birthday girl if he slept with someone else in her social crowd. In the midst of it all however, he never said a thing about how the Argentine girl might feel about being seduced just as a pawn in a larger game.
I'm unsure about him at times, because while he's funny and entertaining and witty and smart, I was a bit surprised to hear him describe how manipulative he can be. I think I'm always so forthright with people and so freaked out when I have to lie, I can't imagine knowingly deciving people like that. I mean, I panicked when I had to lie to my boss for TWO DAYS about how I was quitting my job, how on earth could I ever deceive someone into bed?
I think he sees his behaviour as okay, because he's so nice to girls at the time and doesn't promise anything he doesn't deliver. Yet I know from my own unfortunate experience that girls just don't think the way boys do. We're always entirely too optimistic for our own good.
Hence why I forbade him from seducing the Argentine girl without at least getting her full consent to what was really going on. (I would have preferred to just forbid it outright, but I couldn't get that concession, so I had to go with a compromise). Yet it really irked me, as I was thinking, "By your own admission this girl is absolutely lovely, and you'd be willing to make her collateral damage as a pawn in your little game?"
So I'm a bit stuck, as I in some ways feel a need to remain close to him, to wield what influence I have over him to behave like a more decent human being. But I can really see now what S was talking about at the end of the Christmas Ball, when S declared that he didn't like the Young Dutchman. At the time I thought it strange, that of two boys I liked so much, one didn't like the other, but now I think I see what he was talking about.
When we finally got to talking about my own romantic life, the Young Dutchman seemed to share everyone else's opinion that S has a huge crush on me. Yet when I shared my concerns about how S is a huge flirt who yet never asks me out (as I assume such a self-confident guy would if he really wanted to), the Young Dutchman protested that he thought S was the sort of chap who was a lot of talk and swagger, yet the kind who would have difficulty actually "pulling the trigger" and making a move. Seriously? I remain suspicious, yet I'll at least entertain it as a possibility. I do wonder however if he's too much a classic "peacock" male (as the Young Dutchman is), always preferring to be the centre of attention and showing off. As seen by the example of the Young Dutchman, such a guy isn't exactly going to make good boyfriend material...
All of a sudden I saw that it was past midnight (how on earth had we started with tea over 8 hours ago?) and so jumped up and we both dashed off to the Tube. Gosh that boy might drive me crazy, but he does make for fun nights out!
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