Crazy Christmas Drinks

Ugh, never again...

I was pretty stressed about the drinks I was hosting at the club this evening, which was not helped at all by a guy at the last-minute basically inviting himself along. Numbers were already a bit out-of control as it was, the last thing I needed was more people adding themselves to the list. Yet, as I discovered with the Dartmouth Club of London event, trying to politely put off people like that is just about impossible. If someone wants to crash a party, they will do so regardless of whether they are welcome or not. I couldn't believe how this guy kept insisting on coming, it was so weird!

The party went well for all of the guests, although I don't think I'll be doing something like it again anytime soon (like EVER?) because it was all so stressful... At one point the barman got a bit irate about all of the people, and had some harsh words for me about not giving the staff enough advance notice. It's funny how one harsh word can really ruin an evening, and I found myself struggling to focus on the conversations I was having with people, as I kept replaying that rebuke over-and-over in my head. (I've realised I'm remarkably thin-skinned when it comes to criticism. It just upsets me like you wouldn't believe). Between that and the guy who had fished for an invite (yes he showed up, as I figured he would), it just kind of put a damper on the whole thing. Of course I didn't want to make a scene with the gate-crasher in front of everyone, but I was unimpressed, it was such poor form.

When I realised the bar was getting too crowded, I led everyone like the Pied Piper into the Upper Drawing Room, and I had to be a bit pleased to note that although Doro and a few others had been trying to move the crowd without success (much like herding cats), when I decided it was time to move, everyone followed me instantly and without question. It's nice to feel so popular that everyone wants to be where you are, although I was so stressed out about it at that point!

I suppose some of the increased numbers were due to people having missed their flights, as Heathrow had been closed for days due to snow storms. Great they could make the drinks, but bad to have so many people there!

Things weren't helped at all by the presence of the Vice-Chair of the Committee, G. Always a bit of an odd duck at the best of times, I'm not quite sure what was going on with her last night, but Super-Social Scottish Chap ended up absolutely RANTING to me about how she was behaving inappropriately and making him feel uncomfortable. She was being overly flirtatious, sitting in his lap, and just behaving in a way that he said, "is fine at 4 AM when we're all being a bit silly, but not at 9:30 PM in the O&C! There are certain ways in which Club Ladies are supposed to behave!" He was really NOT amused.

The thing is, G was making it even worse by saying Super-Social Scottish Chap "needs to be more comfortable with physical contact" and continuing on even as he was trying desperately to avoid an awkward situation and put her off. I think it got even worse from there, but I'm not sure how much worse...

Then in all of her weird behaviour, she cornered S, hanging on his arm and monopolizing him until I think he'd had enough and went home early just to get away from her. So we didn't talk much, although I have to admit I was thinking, "You're a big boy, why are you letting her push you around like that?" Rather spineless, he should have been able to get out of that one without having to run away. Let's just say it didn't make him look good...

I did have an absolutely fantastic time chatting with Gordon though, as I always do. He has the same problem I do, which is that our heads are full of random interesting facts that we always spew out at inappropriate moments. At least when the two of us get together, we know we've found a like-minded companion and talk with impunity.

Once I got home, I found tons of messages from a girl from the hash who I had invited, who had been a hit with the assembled company but who had lost her purse and her phone. How does anybody do that? But just one more disaster of a night filled with them.

In the end I would guess that there were about 40 people there, just too many, really. I just have to hope that nobody at the club complains, and that I don't get taken to task by anybody about the whole debacle. I'm never inviting more than 5 people to the club in the future...

Company Christmas Carols

As I wanted to go to the company carol service after work today, rather late in the day I went into the office. I had wondered about finding a desk, but I need not have worried, as there was almost nobody there. Luckily I only spent about two hours in the office before I saw some people packing up and I asked, "Are you going to the carol service?" Indeed they were, so I went with them.

The church service was nice, although to my frustration, I still haven't been quite able to shake my cough, so I can't sing along to the carols as well as I would like. Still, it was a lovely service, even as weird as I find it to go to church with all of my co-workers. Yet this is why Church of England is so great, as there's nothing really exciting of offensive about it, you just follow along with a bog-standard service.

After the service was over, I was delighted to see that my old HR Rep was there (her husband is the preacher who usually preaches every year), as she's currently out on maternity leave. She'd brought the baby with her, so it was great to be able to peek at the adorable little one and talk to her a bit about motherhood. I was a bit horrified to hear that she'd actually been in labour for 3 days (she'd been induced after being nearly a month overdue, hence the painfully long labour, although officially they only counted the 22 hours from when it really started getting bad). Then, to make matters worse, she had haemorrhaged, nearly dying. Then for the first month, she said her parents moved in, as she was unable to move at all. Hence her parents would simply hand her the baby when it was time to feed, and take it back when she was done. She was still wincing at the experience, for although she looked fine right now, it sounded like an absolutely horrific experience. You can bet it's going to be a while before she tries for a sibling to the first kid!

I stood around for a while with everyone drinking mulled wine and eating mince pies, although I'm starting to think I've had enough of those, as I'm getting kind of ill from drinking all of the sweet wine and eating those overly-sugary pies! Finally, once it was late enough to not seem rude, I made my escape.

As I was on the Tube coming home, at Bank station this man was approaching me, and all of a sudden I had a flash of recognition when I realised who I was looking at. It was the Mayor of London, Boris Johnson!! My mouth just opened with a little gasp, and I almost wondered if it were really him, but I know that he makes a big deal about biking around London and being all energy efficient, so why wouldn't he be on the Tube? As well, the Mayor of New York City, Michael Bloomberg, takes the subway to work, so why not Boris Johnson? As I nearly stopped dead in my tracks with shock, he gave me this wink and a look as though to say, "Yeah, I know." Saved me from blurting out the obvious, "You're Boris Johnson!" (Yeah, that would have been idiotic). Still, added a little thrill to my day.

Mulled Wine and Mince Pies

When I went to the Christmas Carol service last Sunday, there were quite a few Inter-Club members there. One of them was this girl Siobhán, who I knew vaguely from a few events, but I'd never really made her acquaintance. Still, at that carol service, she invited me to a mulled wine and mince pie party she was having the following Sunday, so this afternoon I braved the London snow and trekked out to the party.

It turned out that I was the first one to arrive at 2:30 (and here I thought I would have been sufficiently late to a party due to begin at 2 PM!) but luckily we were soon joined by another one of her friends, with the majority of the crowd arriving at 3 PM. It was largely people I recognized from the Inter-Club scene, although with a few of Siobhán's friends mixed in.

Gordon and Veronica had been out for a walk that morning. Maybe I was off with Melissa and Gordon, and it's actually Veronica? But as we talked, it seemed Gordon and Dave have only ever had long-distance girlfriends. Maybe they're the types who are really just too shy to ask girls out, and instead have tons of female friends? Seriously, there are times where I just don't understand how we can be such a mixed group and so little dating goes on.

Siobhán and I got to talking at one point about opera and music, and somehow some comment of mine led her to ask, completely startled, "You're single?" I confessed that I was, and she absolutely stuttered, "But you're beautiful and charming and curvaceous and witty and all the boys love you!!" Well, thank you for that assessment, and I had to confess to her that I seemed to have far too many male friends for a single girl, as I definitely get the impression that I might be missing something. But of course, while I know why people say this, it does imply that, "Wow, if you can be this good-looking and still single, you must be a real royal screw-up!"

I found myself later in a conversation talking to Gordon, David, and Simon. It was an interesting conversation, with lots of debate about student tuition fees. Interesting intellectual discussion, what I've often missed lately.

As it was getting late, we ordered pizza so everyone could have some dinner, and finally, hours after I'd first arrived, the Jones twins walked me back to the Tube. Fun evening, a cozy day inside buffered against the cold outside...

Snowy London

After being out until 5 AM two nights in a row, I certainly wasn't up for doing much today. Plus, although I wasn't too badly off, I'd definitely violated the "no hangover" rule, and was feeling quite headache-y. So when snow started falling all over London, I was only too eager to take advantage of the excuse to stay in for the entire day!

It was a lovely day in that I not only caught my parents online for a chat, but my brother popped up online with my niece on the video chat, so I got to see my super-cute niece on the web cam. Funny how "talking" to my niece always makes me smile for hours afterwards!

In the evening, Doro texted me to say that one of her friends had canceled on going out for a comedy show in Soho, and would I like to come along, and I was tempted to say yes, given how reflexively I always say "yes" to things when people ask me out. Yet for once I think I showed a modicum of sense and turned her down.

In the end I didn't quite get the early bedtime I'd been aiming for (worked on Christmas cards and catching up on this blog), but it was nice to have a slow day in for once...

The Young Dutchman's Birthday

Tonight, battling exhaustion, it was time to celebrate the Young Dutchman's birthday. Thankfully I woke up with an absolutely clear head, although was tired from having gotten only a few hours of sleep.

I was disappointed but not entirely surprised to get a text from S later that afternoon, saying: "Hi Adrian, it's S! Sorry not to reply sooner - glad you got home safely. I'd say 4.45am is the latest club night ive been to...passed out as soon as i stumbled through the front door! Thanks for the invitation to dinner/drinks tonight but I don't think I'm going to come - too knackered! X"

A pity, but as I pointed out to Doro, at least that kind of freed me up to just enjoy the evening without stressing about him. I could use an evening out just to have some fun.

I made my way out in the snow (slipped at least four times on the pavement trying to make my way to the Tube), and found the restaurant where we were meeting for dinner. It was a strange place, as it used projection technology to project the menu onto the table, where you scrolled through the dishes and clicked on things to order them. Then, while you were waiting for your food, you could play games of battleship! I was sitting across from the Young Dutchman's younger brother, who I had met at the ball the night before, and we had a good time playing battleship and bonding.

The dinner was okay, but I don't think I'd go back, despite the interesting concept of the tables. I ended up way overpaying for dinner, but did so just to keep the peace. Yet, I was grateful when we got to the Lansdowne, that I didn't have to buy a single drink of my own, that there were enough magnums of champagne going to keep us all happy.

I spent most of my time talking to a chap David from the Oriental Club the night before, who I'd thought was interested in me the night before. Yet it turned out he had a girlfriend (who I'd somehow never met at the ball, which struck me as incredibly odd), and anyway he wasn't quite as attractive when not in black-tie anyway. Still he seemed fond of me, and without the pressure of romance, I actually found that I liked him too, and he looked after me all evening. Made sure my champagne glass was always topped up, engaged me in conversation, and we had great banter going at all times.

As is usual at the Lansdowne, I ran into tons of people I know, even folks who weren't part of the birthday celebrations. I spotted a chap I'd met at the Moveable Feast, and thankfully remembered his name from the depths of my head just in the nick of time. Good to see him again, although I found it amusing that he hadn't gone to the ball the night before because his girlfriend hadn't "allowed" him to go. Please let me never do that to a boy I like...

At midnight, the Lansdowne bar closed, so we made our way on to the RAC (even as we noted later that absolutely none of us are members). Got some drinks, ran into more people we knew, and just plopped ourselves down on the couches to talk to everyone.

I was surprised when I saw a young woman who I always see with Gordon these days, and asked her as an aside what was going on with the two of them. I'd assumed they were dating, or at least interested, but she seemed so quick to disabuse me of that notion I wonder if I've completely got the wrong of it. I suppose my relationship with the Young Dutchman might not be the only close-yet-platonic relationship going on...

It was kind of hysterical when at one point she just blurted out to the group that she just had to tell me how fantastic my cleavage was (yes, we might have all been a bit tipsy which loosened the inhibitions of our tongues), and somehow the entire group got into a conversation about it. Very funny, but also perhaps I need to wear more turtlenecks, as it really shouldn't come up in conversation!

We ended up snapping tons of photos, laughing in the way that hysterically funny drunken evenings end up, and I found myself sitting quite close with the Younger Brother, who I can tell you from my close proximity to him was getting a bit "excited" about sitting next to such an attractive girl with such impressive cleavage. Okay, now this was wrong on a number of levels (I don't even want to THINK about how young he is), but it was weirdly reassuring after getting my confidence shaken by S the night before. Boys still like me!

Finally, at 4 AM, once again the RAC finally decided it was time for us to go home. Now I'd violated one of my cardinal rules and had been drinking whilst sitting down, and hence was not in great shape. So I'm grateful that my self-appointed protector decided to look after me, trotting me up to Green Park along with Piers to find more fruitful grounds to hail a cab (once again, cabs at 4 AM in the snow are hard to find), and then when he spotted the N9, hustled us both onto it.

We sat upstairs together, ready to ride nearly the whole way home, while Piers realised the N9 wouldn't take him where he wanted to go, and he should get off to try and grab a cab. Only just as he took his leave of us, the bus swerved in an unexpected direction, and we realised we were on the N19, not the N9! Ooops!

This worked out well for Piers, who actually turned out to be on the right bus, but bad for me and my protector. So we stumbled off the bus at Sloane Square, and luckily quickly turned up a cab. He jumped out near Earls Court, gave me £10, and I made it the rest of the way home for £5. Stumbled into my door at 4:30 AM, quite tired but glad to be home. What an excellent night!

Christmas Masquerade Ball

This was one of those absolutely fantastic nights, where a party is everything you hope it might be. Maybe didn't end the way I expected, but I still have to admit it was a great night. One of THOSE nights...

I made my way to the club, meeting up with Doro in the ladies powder room, making a few last-minute adjustments and give the hair one last spray of hairspray, and then making out way to the RAC.

When we arrived, it was actually quite a sophisticated show, as they had a string quartet playing, there were people in full Venetian costumes, and everyone stood around drinking champagne in a setting somewhat what I imagine Regency house parties must have been like. I just found myself constantly exchanging kisses with people and circulating the room. I spotted S arrive, but of course did not approach him, waiting until we more naturally ran into each other at a later point. I could tell that this drove Doro crazy, as now that she's realized we're both fond of each other, she's keen to see it all work out. Still, the game remains in play...

After about an hour of the cocktail reception, it was time to head in to dinner, where I found myself at an all girl's table, but I didn't really mind. It was funny as I stood at my place waiting for everyone to file in and find their places, I kept having people coming up to me and saying hello, at one point with three boys in a row actually lined up for kisses. I was definitely in my element, the social butterfly at the centre of the adoring swirl.

Dinner was fine but mostly forgettable, although by the dessert course I didn't even touch my dessert but instead made my way around the room circulating among the tables, just going around talking to people. There were so many great faces to see, from the Lansdowne to the ROSL, and there were friendly faces at every table I made my way to. Made my way out and ran into some Navy folks I remembered meeting, but of course couldn't remember names. Luckily, I'm so unreserved that I just apologized and re-did introductions, which charmed everyone. When I got around to S (last, of course), it turned out that the girl who was supposed to be seated to his left had never showed up, so I could have sat next to him all dinner! Oh well, such are the way these things turn out.

Then it was time for the dancing to start, so they cleared tables off the dance floor, and we all got going. As I continued to circulate, Doro was going absolutely mental, subtly asking me, "Don't you want to go talk to S?" She was so determined to get us together, and I did chat to him a bit, but was quickly called away by the Young Dutchman grabbing my hand to drag me out to the dance floor. The Young Dutchman is quite the dancer, and expertly whirled me around with some good swing moves, as we just found ourselves clinging to each other with excited laughter as we talked about his extraordinary GMAT performance once again. He's just so charming, I just love being around him, he makes me laugh. But poor Doro, once again I was spending too much time and attention on the wrong guy!

There was much more dancing and socializing, and I even did manage to spend some time talking to S and being a bit flirtatious (finding reasons to run my hands through his hair). But mostly just lots of dancing with everybody, until we finally reached the last song of the night. I couldn't believe how quickly midnight had arrived, but thankfully they were keeping the bar downstairs open until 2 AM!

So downstairs we went, to keep talking and drinking, and I found myself in conversations with tons of random people. When I got to the bar, the Old Ex-Boyfriend (of another friend) immediately got me a drink without me even asking, and just wandered off to talk to other people, it was just like it's this pro-forma thing, "Of course she needs a drink!" Glad so many boys watch out for me.

It was funny when at one point this guy in a suit-and-tie (not from the ball) came up to me and said, "I just have to tell you that you are fabulous! I absolutely had to come over here and tell you that!" I had to laugh, as he was obviously a bit tipsy, but therefore able to overcome his inhibitions to talk to what he thought was the prettiest girl in the room.

He introduced himself and his friend (easy to remember as they were both named James) and insisted he buy me a drink, but alas my current drink was already full. So I chatted to him for a bit, but mercifully not too long before he asked for my number. So I gave him my card, laughingly knowing he probably wouldn't call, but I'd give him a chance if he did ask me out whilst sober.

As the evening continued, I did find myself chatting with S for a bit, and was pleased that he was sliding his arm around me to hold me close, not just letting me do all of the flirting. It must have been obvious, because the Young Dutchman raised his eyes to me at one point in a question, and I told him the truth, that I like S, but I'm unsure.

Because I have to admit I had a lovely time chatting in Spanish with an American boy I've met quite a few times now, and who, despite being American, seems really nice. I'd like to get to know him better. And towards the end of the evening I found myself chatting to a Frenchman who I didn't give nearly the attention he deserved. With other options still open, could I really go for S? Because there would be no turning back if I did. This is one that I absolutely just can't mess up.

I was distracted sufficiently by the Young Dutchman, who had originally asked for an introduction to the young girl sitting to my right at dinner (she seemed nice, if a bit young), but then finding himself needing an escape later. Thinking back on it, I do spend so much time with the Young Dutchman and am so close to him, I wonder if S could have gotten the wrong impression of all of it. But the Young Dutchman didn't seem to question S's approach towards me, so maybe it all just isn't in my head.

Yet, at the end of the evening they were ushering us out of the bar, and so I left with the crowds to go get my coat. But S was dawdling talking to another girl. I dawdled too (socializing some more, of course) and when he reappeared the Young Dutchman invited S to join us for his birthday celebrations the next day. S agreed, but whispered to me that the Young Dutchman seemed a bit too slick, he wasn't so sure about him as a man and a friend. I was a bit miffed at the time, as I adore the Young Dutchman, but as I write this and reflect on it, I now realise that S undoubtedly has the wrong impression of the Young Dutchman, and so of course would not think well on a man he saw as competition. Oh dear...

We got our coats, and walked out the door with S to get a cab. Unfortunately we live not near each other, so there would be no cab sharing, but I figured we could at least say good-bye. Yet at 4:30 AM in the snow, cabs were rather hard to find. (Strange, right?) So S suggested we walk towards Picadilly where there were more likely to be cabs, although as I was unable to keep his pace in my ridiculous heels, I had to take his arm to keep up. We walked all of the way to Picadilly before we spotted a cab (my feet were killing me!) at which point he flagged it down and put me into it, with a simple peck on each cheek. Incredibly gentlemanly, but also incredibly unromantic. What was going on here?

I checked my phone in the cab, and found a message from Doro sent at around 2 AM: "Escaped all male attention and on night bus back. Slightly out of place. How are you getting on? If S doesn't make a move I'll eat my sock! xxx"

Ah, what a pity to have to tell her that absolutely nothing happened. I also texted the Young Dutchman to inform him of the sad turn of events, that I'd just been put into a cab, all alone. To which he replied, "A scholar AND a gentleman? Oh my."

I had to laugh at that, but responded that while I'm sure I would appreciate it tomorrow, at the moment I most certainly did not! So that got me, "Well phrased. Look forward to tomorrow. ;) x"

Yet, I know he was right. We see each other too much for an awkward hook-up, this is absolutely one relationship that can't be screwed up. But the way he put me into the cab without even a suggestion of anything does make me worry that he's not really interested at all. But then, I don't even know my own mind.

Finally home at 5 AM, where I sent him a message to say I was home safely and hoped to see him at dinner and drinks tomorrow. And then off to bed!

Christmas Carols

This evening was a Christmas Carol service at a church in Chelsea, that I heard about through the classic Facebook feature "Friends events", and so even though I wasn't invited directly, there were going to be people there that I knew, and I'd been meaning to get to a carol service this year.

I arrived a half-hour before the service was due to start, and to my surprise found the chancel of the church nearly entirely packed. Yet, it was my good fortune that I ran into Gordon, and he had an empty seat next to him. So we chatted and kept up some conversation until Veronica (an Argentinean girl who is also part of our larger group) arrived, and then it was time for the service to start.

It was such a shame that I'm still fighting off this cough, as my voice was quite hoarse for all of the singing! Normally singing Christmas carols is one of my favourite things of the year, but I swear I was just trying not to break out into coughing fits for most of the songs.

After the carols, we hung around with Super Nice Guy and his girlfriend, drinking mulled wine and eating mince pies. After that, we all walked down to the Thomas Cubbitt for a drink, so a one-hour church service eventually turned into a 5-hour evening out! At least I got some spiritual uplift on my Sunday...

Two Parties and a Baby

For reasons I will never quite understand, December 11 this year proved to be quite a popular day for parties. I was invited to 6 different events on this day, and so I considered it doing very well to narrow it down to simply two. I skipped my running club Christmas party and some Oxford 10 drinks in favour of going to my friend Cornelia's birthday party being held at the club, and told my friends Andy and Florie that I would make it to their party later in the evening.

The day began with a squash game at the club, as Doro and I had agreed to meet for a game of squash at the club at 10 AM. I really had to drag myself up to get out there, dragging myself with my hacking cough, but it was actually a really good thing to do, as the exercise was great and we had a blast running around and whacking the ball. We should definitely do that more often.

I then went home and went right back to bed for a few hours, in an attempt to give my body some rest and a chance to recover. But in the evening I had to get up and get all dolled up to go out for dinner at the club. Wore a deep plum-coloured dress I hadn't worn yet before, as I think it was actually a nice occasion to get it out for.

I arrived at the club, and found everyone downstairs for dinner, so joined folks in champagne and conversation. Sat down to dinner, and had an amusing conversation with Sophie's fiancee, who was not at all what I had expected. After she'd said she was dating a guy in Switzerland, and had gotten a boob job for him, I was surprised to meet a somewhat pudgy Englishman who apparently had a kid in the UK that he flew back to visit every so often. She sounds quite happy with him, but I was still amused at how he didn't fit my stereotype expectations at all.

Dinner took a great turn right at the start, when one of the chaps pressed the couple to make their happy announcement, that rather than getting married in the summer of 2012, they had just gotten married that morning! So we were now no longer at a birthday party, but a wedding reception! And the reason for the quick wedding was even lovlier, as apparently they were pregnant! Suddenly all of their cuddling and happy appearance at their flat-warming party two months ago made much more sense, as they had probably conceived right around that time.

I also ended up having a funny conversation with the groom, who revealed that he'd been sitting with S at the grouse dinner in September, where he'd brought along a blonde bimbo (a classic "Essex girl", the groom said, and I knew exactly what he meant). I remember I'd been surprised at the time, as I'd just met S the night before and we seemed to click amazingly well, but then the very next night here he was with a girlfriend (or so I assumed). S and I barely spoke that night.

Turns out, there had been some mess-up on S's place card, as apparently he uses his middle name and not his first name. But the Essex girl, his date, apparently knew him sooooooo well that she kept using the name on his place card, and not the name everybody calls him! Apparently he was horribly embarrassed by this girl, the bride and groom couldn't stop laughing about his disastrous date, and I apparently have judged him overly harshly, as she wasn't his girlfriend at all but rather a girl he barely knew. He'd obviously invited her before he'd ever met me, and so although he probably might have preferred to continue our association that night, he'd been stuck playing host to some Essex girl.

I don't know if I'm thinking about S so much more recently simply because Doro put it into my head, or if there's really something there. I find him attractive, there's no question of that. He's tall, I love the wildman hair and beard, always looking like a bit of an animal raging to break free of his suit and tie, yet equally looking so comfortable and confident dressed to the nines. But mostly it's those blue eyes. I could get lost in those blue eyes, they're so bright and startling, and they always have a twinkle to them.

Yet, I have my concerns. By my best calculations, he is 5 years younger than I am. I worry that he will be inconstant, too prone to playing around and just being a young man. Yet, weirdly of all things, I just saw a photo of Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, and realised that she's over 10 years older than her beau, yet they appear to be perfectly happy together. Hence, I think I will try hard to judge S on his own merits, and not his age. He may indeed turn out to be too much of a player, but perhaps he's actually just a good guy looking for the right girl. I should be open-minded, at the very least.

Finally, at around 11:30 PM, everyone started to disband, and I finally saw my opportunity to leave (however ridiculously late). So without saying a proper good-bye, I raced outside, flagged down a cab, and directed him to Notting Hill Gate. I'm not quite sure exactly how the cab driver and I got to talking, but as he realised I was heading from one party to another, we got into a discussion about living the single life, and him wondering what he might have missed out on, given that he met his wife at 16 and married her at 18. (He was now 52, and they apparently have 10 grandchildren, which he showed me a picture of). I told him what I tell everyone: That this life is extraordinarily fun right now, and if I should manage to still squeak in under the wire, marry and have kids by the time I'm 40, I'll think I've done it exactly right. But if this is still my life when I'm 40, I should be sad, in which case I will think that he has done better to marry at 18. Interesting discussion.

I arrived at Andy and Florie's at midnight, and almost worried that the party might be over, but on the fourth time I rang the doorbell, Andy let me in. The party was definitely winding down, but there were still quite a few folks there, so I had a good time coming in and chatting with everyone. To my surprise, I wasn't even the last arrival, as two American guys arrived after me! One was actually cute in that he reminded me tremendously of the silly boy, and we got to talking in a way that made it clear he was interested if he got any encouragement. However as he talked, he sounded INCREDIBLY American (he said "dude", a lot), it kind of bothered me and I lost interest. So when we re-arranged ourselves to sit down on the floor for a bit, I didn't bother to make sure I sat near him. So that pretty much was the end of that. After they left, the hostess shared my opinion that he was cute but way too American, and then laughed at my assessment that I'm just not that attracted to American guys. Good thing I left the country, I guess...

Had a good time chatting with everyone until it was finally REALLY time to go home, so at 2:30 AM I left and grabbed a night-bus, and was home by 3 AM. Good result for the evening!

Ali and Nic's Wedding

When I was just out of college working at my first job and tremendously bored at work, I was obsessed with a website called etiquettehell.com, where people wrote in to talk about the incredibly tacky, greedy, and just plain poor form they'd witnessed at various events, usually weddings. I'd never had occasion to experience such an event myself, and assumed it was because all of my friends were individuals of such class, and figured I probably never would.

And then my friends Nicky and Ali got married. I've known Ali since Magdalene and Balliol, and we even had a fling after a long-term relationship of mine broke up. It was exactly what I needed at the time, and although I can't even imagine sleeping with him now (it feels like it all happened in another lifetime), we've retained a closeness that I think only former lovers can have. In short, a dear friend.

His fiancee I've also gotten to know well, and she's a girl from a prestigious, if somewhat impoverished, family. Well-connected, she always seems to know a fair number of titled individuals and people in high places, I believe her family is of some minor nobility themselves. Hence, I knew this was going to be a fancy wedding (hats required!) and quite an upscale affair.

The first inkling I had that all might not be as it seemed, was at the wedding in Boston last month, when it was revealed that my friend Nikola had been invited to the wedding, but his long-term girlfriend had not been. When my friend Nikola had called to RSVP and say, "We're so looking forward to attending", the groom had abashedly revealed that there was no "we", that partners were not being invited. I was absolutely shocked by this, given that Nikola has been living with his girlfriend for several years now. I've heard of not giving people a "plus 1" at weddings, but long-term partners are generally considered required invites.

My next clue, was when my friend Nikola asked who else among our "crowd" was going, and I said that I would simply go with who had been at the engagement party for a clue. Except you can imagine my shock again when I learned that many (if not most) of those who had been at the engagement party had not received an invite to the wedding. Who on earth invites someone to your engagement party if not to invite them to your wedding later on?

The final clue came when I puzzled over the wedding invite, where the reception didn't start until 5:30 PM, but was somehow supposed to be all finished at 7:45 PM. How on earth were we supposed to have a sit-down dinner so quickly? It all became clear, when somebody asked me, "Have you been invited to the dinner afterwards?" Afterwards?

Yes, apparently there was an "A List" and a "B List" at this wedding, as they couldn't afford to feed everyone, so they forced the men to hire morning suits and the women to buy hats, all to simply stand around at a cocktail party reception. (At least I will say they were generous with the champagne, as I was feeling a bit tipsy by the end of it all). Any impression that the bride and groom might have had that their guests didn't notice should definitely be dashed, as there was no question that people knew what was going on.

On the whole, it just left a bad taste in my mouth. If they couldn't afford to feed so many people, they should have had the reception at a less expensive venue. Or they should have asked for gifts that cost less than £50 each. Or they should not have forced all of their guests to hire morning suits. I've been to some really lovely weddings that were held in tent marquees, with buffets, or other sorts of money-saving-yet-nice options. The whole thing made me reconsider some other weddings that I've been to with some obvious cost-cutting thrown in.... At least I can argue they bothered to feed everyone!

Anyway, the morning dawned overcast yet clear, actually somewhat warmer than it's been in recent days. I made my way to the church, greeted some familiar faces, and was surprised to see Tristan there as well. Although I suppose it does make sense that Tristan was at Magdalene when Ali and I were there as well, so they would probably be friends.

Sat through the service, which was somewhat long but included many lovely pieces of music, including the Flower Duet from Lamke. I was totally surprised when I realised that the "Miss Elizabeth Bell" singing the piece was my friend Liz Bell! It was amazing to discover some of the hidden talents your friends have!

The most interesting part of the ceremony, for me, was that there was only one ring involved, that the groom gave the bride a ring, but she did not give him one in return. I was so stunned by this, and not sure how I would react if my intended ever told me that he didn't want to wear a ring! It's just such an unquestionable part of the ceremony for me, that there's an exchange of rings, not just the giving and receiving of one! I guess it was just one more traditional part of the ceremony, for even when the reverend asked, "Who gives this woman to be married?" her father answered, "I do", rather than, "Her mother and I do", which is what I'm used to hearing.

After the ceremony, we made our way to the club on old-fashioned Routemaster buses, where as Nikola sat next to me, he remarked, "People were a lot smaller in the old days, weren't they?" Indeed, good thing we are friends, as we were absolutely squished up against each other with no room for our knees, I can only imagine what it would have been like if we were total strangers sitting together on the bus!

We got to the club and made our way upstairs for the reception, where Nikola remarked that he'd never been to the club before, which I found totally shocking. I'm there all of the time, how on earth was it possible that he'd never been there? But then during the reception, we snuck out and I gave him a quick tour of the place, and he seemed suitably impressed by it all.

There were then speeches by the bride's uncle (the bride's father can barely stand up, at nearly 90 years old he is your classic definition of an "older" father, he couldn't even manage to walk the bride down the aisle), the groom's best man, and the groom himself (mostly thanking people for participating in the wedding. And then the final toast was to the bridesmaids. (To the bridesmaids? Shouldn't the groom be toasting his lovely bride?)

Then the bride threw the bouquet (thankfully well away from me), and then everyone was supposed to leave, although Nikola and I went down to the bar, where Tristan had ordered some sandwiches for us, and we found him talking to the bride's brother-in-law (a viscount or something like that) and another guy. Interesting discussion about Annabel's (apparently both were members because the membership itself was cheap, but even they were annoyed about the incredible cost of drinks there), and something else that was more topical, but now I can't remember what it was.

Finally an embarrassed groomsman came out to tell the brother-in-law that it was time to come in to dinner, and then Nikola and I shared a cab back to Notting Hill. I'd originally intended to take the cab on to my place, but after the cab driver got snippy, I decided against it and simply got out and took the bus back to mine.

Once back at my place, I had another party that I was supposed to go to, but I was really too tired, and so instead decided to just make an early night of it!

I Got the Job?

I'd originally intended to go to the Lansdowne last night after work, but I also needed to get to the mall and do some hat shopping. And maybe go to the gym too.

As with most things, I only managed to do one of those activities, the going to the mall bit. I spent ages searching through hats and fascinators, and then finally decided to get a saucer hat that I figured would probably match my dress. Imagine my delight when I picked a hat, hoping desperately that it might match my dress (as no returns were allowed), only to get home and find that the colour match was PERFECT. I was quite pleased with my hat.

I then decided to give my work e-mail a quick scan, and was totally shocked to see the following message from the hiring manager for that role I'd applied for: "I wanted to officially offer you the position on our Global Sales Effectiveness Team – managing the win loss program."

Oh my gosh, I'd gotten the job? Well, sort of. The e-mail continued: "There are a couple changes to the role that we had to make due to the current company climate in EALA. There is a promotion freeze right now. I was able to get approval from the Operations Workforce Lead to grant an exception for you, however, they would not allow you to jump “2” levels. So they have re-leveled the role to Senior Specialist and will allow this promotion should you accept the role."

Obviously, finding out that I would not be getting the promotion I'd hoped for was a crushing blow, as the salary rise that came along with it was MUCH less than I'd hoped for.

Luckily, at that very moment my mentor (who had put me up for this role) happened to be online, and I asked her if she might be willing to take five minutes to talk. As always, she had some very valuable advice, noting to me, "If you don't take this job, you're absolutely going to be stuck doing what you are currently doing for the next six months. How do you feel about that?" When she put it that way, the choice was clear. Plus, she pointed out that it WAS a promotion, and obviously if they'd originally levelled this as a Manager role, that I could push for a promotion to Manager level once the promotion-freeze was off.

Plus, the thought of staying in my current role just makes me feel ill, so I'm keen to get out. So the more I think about it, the more I realise that although it's not what I originally wanted, I absolutely will be taking this job (particularly as they're willing to handle all of the visa issues for me!)

What's most amazing about this all was that I never really interviewed for this job, I just called up the hiring manager and had a casual half-hour chat on a day I'd just landed off a red-eye flight and was half out of my head with exhaustion and need for sleep. I'd been expecting them to call and offer a real interview, not the job itself!

So, there you have it. I'll talk to the hiring manager on Monday, but it appears that I now have a new job! (Now comes the fun part, telling my boss! Oh boy, not looking forward to that...)

US Alumni Drinks

Tonight after work I'd been debating going to some US Alumni Drinks, but had been dithering about whether I wanted to go out in the cold and snow. The decision was made for me when one of the girls who I am a co-chair with on the Dartmouth Club of London committee said she would be there and we could discuss a future event we were planning at that time.

So off I went, making my way along some slippery and ice-covered streets, out to the party. When I arrived, I checked if everyone had drinks, and then made my way to the bar to get one for myself. On my way over, I ran into a girl looking slightly lost, so I took her to the bar with me and bought her a drink. Like most Americans, she protested that it was unnecessary, but I assured her that I was confident she would buy me a drink later on.

When we parted to talk to our own groups of friends, I started to wonder if she would remember (the two glasses of wine had set me back more than £10), and so was delighted when just as my glass was emptying, she popped up out of nowhere with another glass. We had a delightful conversation (she was a Georgetown grad who has run the Georgetown London Club in the past, and recently passed it on to someone else). She had lots of great advice and suggestions, which were really fantastic. Super socially confident, she introduced me to someone else when she obviously wanted to talk to some other people, but doing it in such a smooth and gracious manner that if I hadn't been so attuned to it, I doubt I would have noticed. Definitely an impressive young woman.

I finally ended out the evening talking to Jelena, who normally I'm not all that fond of, but we actually had a really great conversation, mostly about visa issues. Apparently the UK government will be eliminating the Tier 1 visa after April 2011, so it looks like my options there are now totally shut off, and I will need to stay working for my company until I qualify for citizenship. On the whole, this is not the worst option ever, but it does worry me nonetheless, particularly with all of the reorganization and changes going on at work.

Still, since worrying won't help matters, I'm trying my best to put it out of my head and just not worry about it since there's nothing I can do. Just focus on being a good worker where I am, I guess!

Squash and New Members

I'd agreed to play squash with my friend Doro at the club on Wednesday, and after all of that turkey and stuffing, I was keen to run around and get in a bit of exercise. The only downside was that Doro had only been able to secure us a 6:15 PM court time, so I had to absolutely race out of work in the hopes of getting there in time for the game.

I arrived at the club at 6:10, and frantically raced to change, sure I would be late for our court time. Turns out I need not have worried, for while I was changing, Doro frantically raced in, late as well! Since I finished changing before Doro, I made my way out to the squash bar, where I ran into S. Apparently he was just having dinner before the New Members Drinks that evening, and so wished me and Doro a good game before heading up to the drinks.

Only it turned out that Doro had mis-read the squash court booking chart, and our court time wasn't until 6:45!! All of that rushing around for nothing! So we came back upstairs and hung out with S for a while, before finally heading down to our game at 6:50 (as S also needed to head up for the New Members drinks).

We had a good game, running around like mad, although I think I had a bit more energy than Doro did. Kept taking more serves than she did and didn't need to break for water as much as she did, but I suppose we all have our more tired days. A good game, nonetheless.

Afterwards, we went and showered, and then made our way upstairs to the Smoking Room to see if we could sneak in to the New Members drinks. (As we are no longer new members, we were not invited!) "Sneaking in" turned out to be much easier than we anticipated after we ran into Claire in the hallway and she exclaimed, "Oh good, you girls are here! Why don't you go in and meet some new members? Grab a drink whilst you're at it!" Ummm...wow. Great. That makes for a very easy time sneaking in!

So we went in and introduced ourselves to people, and I was glad to see my friend Alex and get a chance to chat with him for a bit, along with some more of the new people. Finally, at the end of the drinks, we wandered downstairs with a crowd of some people from the drinks, and settled ourselves into the bar.

Eventually some folks went home, and it was just myself, S, Doro, and a friend of S's from his university days who had recently joined the club, but missed the formal drinks. We got a bottle of wine, and sat down to chat.

However, just as we were sitting down, my friend Andrei came in, so of course I had to go over and say hello and make a bit of polite conversation. When I rejoined the group, Doro remarked, "You seem to know EVERYBODY!" We laughed about how well-connected I seem to be, although I remarked that it didn't seem to serve me well when dating.

We chatted a bit about jobs and Thanksgiving and the dinner at the Reform Club, which sounds like it wasn't something I need to worry about having missed. I told stories about my crazy hippie family, and S exclaimed, "I love a crazy hippie family! They sound fantastic!"

And it was weird, but I could almost swear it was like S was looking for things to agree with me on and note what we had in common. We've always had an easy banter and I like his company, but this almost made me wonder...was he flirting with me?

Praising my family is an easy way to get in good with me though, so I had a good time chatting with him and telling stories to everyone, through yet another bottle of wine. I came up short on my turn, but as it was past midnight and time to go home, I figured a third bottle could wait for another time. But I was sad to see the night end, as it had been so much fun in such charming company.

Yet it was really late, and it was going to be tight to make the last train from Green Park. I dashed down for the Picadilly Line, but when I got to the platform, all the notice board said was "Westbound Trains". So I figured I'd missed the last train. But maybe I could catch the Jubilee Line and make the run to Bond Street for the Central Line connection? But when I got down to that platform, all it said was "Northbound Trains". Totally discouraged, I came back upstairs and asked the Tube workers standing there how I could get a refund as I'd missed my train, and they asked me where I was going. When I said Hammersmith, they assured me that there was one more Picadilly Line train, so I got down there and got on the VERY LAST train. Got to Hammersmith, and luckily the N9 bus (which I needed to get back to Kensington Olympia) was right there, so hopped on that, but then had a similar walk in the snow, where I was slip-sliding everywhere!! Walking slowly and cautiously, made it back to my flat around 1 AM, marveling in the beautifully falling snow all around me.