Zuzana and John's Leaving Do

The afternoon started when I met up with Princess, Ross, and a few others to watch rugby. Instead of our usual gathering point of the Grand Union in Camden, we ended up at the O'Neil's in Chinatown. Great Irish pub for watching the Irish vs. Scotland game. Except for some reason among our crowd we had a lot of Scottish people, and so we decided to be the only people in the pub cheering for Scotland. It was totally bizarre when Scotland would score, and the entire pub would be dead silent, all staring at our little corner cheering like mad. Boy, did it make me glad we were watching rugby (the sport where fans tend to be more gentlemanly) rather than football (where I'm sure some hooligans might really have gone after us!)

After the Ireland vs. Scotland game (which Scotland won, btw), we ended up going upstairs to watch the England vs. France game, where this time the tables were turned, as for some reason we found ourselves in the midst of a giant room filled with French people. Seriously, what was going on that we were always in the minority for every team we cheered for?

Finally, after that game was over, it took ages (like herding cats!) but I finally managed to move the crowds (now about 10 people) on from that pub to Zuzana's leaving do, which was being held at the same pub where Nat and I had our birthday's last year, hence open until 4 AM. We didn't arrive until 11 PM though, which I was honestly kind of embarrassed about... There's being fashionably late, but that's taking it to an extreme!

Now when I arrived, the most HIDEOUSLY embarrassing thing happened. Upon arriving, I was immediately greeted by Zuzana's ex-boyfriend. This guy used to come over ALL THE TIME while we were all living together, did minor repair work at our place, and who I went out for drinks with occasionally. He seemed totally thrilled that there was finally someone else there who knew him, and while I greeted him enthusiastically, I was mortified because I COULD NOT REMEMBER HIS NAME. Frank? Steve? Mike? Oh my gosh, my brain was working frantically, but it just couldn't come up with the right name. Holy crap, it's bad enough to forget someone's name when you've only met them once, but really, I should have known this. I actually KNEW this guy.

Things went from bad to worse, as while I happily engaged in conversation with him, Cookie and others came up to join our conversational group, and as it was obvious that I knew this guy, the waited patiently for an introduction. Except none was forthcoming, as I still could not remember this guy's name!!! I wonder if he was starting to catch on to my distress, because this was becoming ridiculous. He so obviously remembered mine, but my dear brain just refused to kick in. I eventually bought him a drink, just trying to assuage my mortification and hoping that if he got a bit drunker, he wouldn't notice the fact that I wasn't using his name!

I thought about quietly taking Zu aside to ask her, but I was sure she would just report back to him, and that would be mortifying. I just had to hang on and hope that it came up in conversation at some point.

Because you see, something even more bizarre happened as I was talking to Zu's ex. Almost as soon as I arrived, he started asking me about what I thought of this guy, DM. Nice Ozzie chap, really handsome guy, who I knew I was a bit surprised, and had to confess while I liked Dan well enough, I'd always thought of him as a bit of a player, a guy who was so good at picking up women he had you convinced he was shy and bashful while doing it. Well, that seemed to upset Zu's ex, who then let it be known that he thought Dan was a stellar guy, who apparently had a huge crush on me, and he was determined to make sure we exchanged numbers before the night was out.

I had to laugh at this, because I couldn't imagine anybody less likely to have a crush on me than Dan Marr. Sure, I've always enjoyed talking to him, but I'd never gotten the slightest indication that he was interested in me at all. So I just had to assume that Zu's ex was joking.

Still, it did make me realise I hadn't really properly said hello to Dan when I arrived, so when our conversational circles interacted a bit later, I apologised for not saying hello more properly and gave him a kiss on the cheek just as his had his mobile out, apparently checking it for something. Zu's ex then seemed to flip out, saying, "Don't have your phone out, then she'll see the message!!"

Okay, now this is getting weird. Dan chuckled and said, "No, I don't think she saw it", while I gave Zu's ex a questioning look, because indeed I hadn't seen whatever the message was. Zu's ex just then gave a wry grin and said, "Yeah, we're exchanging text messages about you while you're right here in the pub..." Once again joking, right? I mean, there's no way they were serious about that...

Yet I have to admit, this weirdness continued all evening, with Zu's ex continually pestering us to exchange numbers, and Dan....honestly behaving in the embarrassed and abashed way that any shy boy would if he'd just been outed by his best friend for having a crush. I had this dumbfounded moment where I started to wonder, "Could he possibly SERIOUSLY have a crush on me?" No way. Had to be a joke. This was too weird.

Still, at least I got him involved in conversation asking for thoughts and advice on my upcoming trip to Australia. I will admit, he did have a lot of good suggestions, and seemed to relax when talking about a subject he was obviously confident in. And then we started joking about how I was going to get his number, but then mess with his head by texting him from random numbers in Australia. He laughed out loud at that one and said, "I would LOVE that! Oh my gosh, I would so totally love that." And then kept telling me who would be good candidates of friends or relatives I could pretend to be.... "Oh yeah, you'll totally have to get my number from Alan for that."

ALAN!!!!

Thank you!!

Man, I was so excited by this, that I then almost wanted to immediately run over and say, "Hi Alan! See, I do know your name!!" Can't believe I forgot that...

Now, the thing to note is that in the midst of all of this, Matt and I were bonding. Always one of my favourite people, we'd started talking about the difficulties of discussing finances in relationships (his live-in girlfriend doesn't know how much he makes, but yet we started discussing all of the details of our own dollars and cents), and you could tell that he was just in the mood to talk to me. So as I'm talking to Dan, Matt grabs two cigars and says to me, "I think it's time for Matt and Adrian to head out back for some cigars and to talk about life."

Poor Dan. Matt invited him to join us, but it was pretty clear that I was going with Matt. Always my favourite person, the addition of cigars was just too much to resist. I LOVE cigars, particularly after quite a few beers.

So Matt and I went out back, and as is our usual pattern, discussed everything from the current political situation to the current gossip. We're always so perfectly in tune with our conversational patterns, I suppose it's why I always enjoy his company so much. I have a total mind-meld with that guy.

After we were done smoking (and I smelled like CRAP), we came back in, at which point Dan found me to say that he was going home. Great, now I get my good-bye hug when I smell horrible, and there's definitely no chance of a cheeky kiss. My own fault for indulging in cigars, I guess! Still, whatever, I'm not sure if Alan was pulling my leg or what. But if he was, he was AWFULLY determined about the fact that Dan and I need to go out with each other! If it was a joke, he really carried it pretty far...

Also, while out smoking, I actually ended up getting into a pretty deep conversation with Dom (Tara's boyfriend) about his smoking addiction and life in general. I have to admit, that guy has hidden depths. Perhaps I judged him too harshly last week, because I admit, he's growing on me. Perhaps I can see why Tara likes him...

Now for some reason at this point Princess starts challenging people to arm wrestles, and for reasons still unclear to me (perhaps so hyped on how much I've been going to Body Pump class recently), I decide to accept his challenge. Princess looks surprised (I don't think he expected a girl to have a go at him), but agrees to the challenge.

In the end, I'm still suspicious that Princess wasn't really trying. I mean, men just have so much more upper-body strength than women, there should have been NO WAY I could beat Princess in an arm wrestle. But as he went at me, while at first I couldn't quite take him down, I found it pretty easy to hold out against him as well. I accused him of not trying, he swore to me he was, and people later even said that you could see the veins popping out of his neck. Maybe he really WAS trying? So basically I just held him there as he tried and tried and tried but couldn't move my arm, until finally he was tired and I just worked him down to the ground. Couldn't believe it, the guy got beaten by a girl at arm wrestling....although maybe that Body Pump stuff IS helping!

So the evening continued, as people continued to get drunker, although of course since I don't do hangovers anymore, I was in pretty fine shape. Which made it kind of funny when Cookie really started to show her intoxication, slurring her words a bit, although confessing that she felt a bit awkward around Princess anymore, as she was never sure what was harmless fun flirting or what was more serious. Matt just seemed to fall into a pattern of declaring that I was his absolute favourite person in the world. No really. Seriously. It was hysterical, because the more he said it, the more he seemed worried that I was unconvinced, and so kept saying it even more. Not quite sure if Matt was undergoing a crisis of conscience, as throughout the evening he kept asking, "I'm a good boyfriend, aren't I?" to which I assured him yes, he spoke hypothetically about what would happen if he and his girlfriend broke up, and then kept saying, "You're my absolute favourite person in the world." But, I honestly don't think it was really a romantic thing, it was just a.....intense bonding thing. Kind of funny, in the midst of all the drunken madness!

I shared a slow dance with Zu, talking to her about how we'd first met, and how much I was going to miss her. Kind of crazy to look back on all that's happened in those years since we first met while looking at that crazy flat where we used to live! Also spent some time talking to John, and I have to admit that the more I get to know him, the more I like him and approve of him. Okay, while it might seem kind of crazy to follow a guy to Abu Dhabi, I think that John is one of those who might be worth following. Just a stellar, nice guy (who also seemed pretty okay with engaging Alan in conversation, which shows huge confidence to be friends with your girlfriend's ex!)

In the end, Cookie went home with Princess (Matt and I tut-tutted our disapproval, but I pointed out that after a certain point you have to leave people free to make their own mistakes), the others went home elsewhere, and I grabbed a cab home to mine (alone, thank goodness!) Flopped into bed at 6 AM, for two hours of sleep, before getting up at 8 AM to go run six miles for Sport Relief. But more on that another time!

Zu's Birthday Party

After an intense morning at the gym, I was off to my old flatmate's birthday party, although with a stop at the rugby game first. Yet, after all of the running around at the gym, I wasn't actually keen to get going quickly, and arrived well into the second half of the rugby game.

Despite my tardy arrival, it seems that I was still ill-prepared, as you can imagine my horror upon opening my handbag to pay for the drink I'd just ordered, to find I had walked out of the house with my wallet. (Or at least I dearly hoped, as can you imagine how bad it would be if my wallet had been stolen? Luckily, when I got home I just found that I was an idiot and had left it on my dresser.) Yet, regardless of the reasons, it meant that I was now without any cash at all to pay for the drink in front of me, and there was a £5 minimum to use my card. With nobody else wanting a drink, I did the only think I could think of, and desperately sorted through my change purse, hoping that I might actually have nearly £4 in lose change. And would you believe it, without having any large pound coins, I actually managed to put together £3.65 - quite an expensive pint! - in change? Thank goodness, I was so embarrassed to have been caught out without money, and you can bet I'll learn to check my handbag before going out next time!

The game ended up as a draw between England and Scotland, and we then ended up chatting downstairs for a while. I found myself getting involved in a fascinating conversation with Matt, always one of my favourite people to talk to, about English bias against gingers (apparently lingering racism against Irish people, he figures), and how the backgrounds of various people all basically lead to being oppressed by the English, and how far we've come since our grandparents' generation. Eventually we got a Scotsman and an Ozzie involved, and all around it was one of the most interesting chats I've had over a pint in a long time.

The conversation was so fascinating, that I was absolutely crushed to have to leave at 9 PM to go to dinner for my old flatmate's birthday party. Not that I don't adore the Lady Z, but I was pretty sure that the conversation wouldn't be quite so intellectual where I was going...

I wandered around Leicester Square lost for a bit, before eventually having the good sense to walk into the Leicester Square tube station, look at the map in there, and find my way back out to the restaurant. In the end, I wasn't more than 10 minutes late. But I relate the story because HP, a later joiner to the party, claimed to have been lost in Leicester Square for almost AN HOUR. Given that it took me only 10 minutes to figure out how to sort myself out, and that she had the exact same information that I did, how on earth did she manage to stay so much more lost? {Sigh!} One more of the signs of how intolerant I am, I guess, is how little patience I have for stupid people. I don't know, but I find it awfully hard to have sympathy for you when you're just that dumb.

Anyway, I arrived just in time for dinner, which was served tapas style, with many plates coming out and all of us just sharing them together. I was starving when I arrived (I'd been holding off eating, knowing that I would be eating out soon), but before long I was totally full up, and there was still more food coming!

At the end of the meal, with no cash on hand, I handed over my credit card, and crossed my fingers that I hadn't run up against the credit limit (as that plane ticket to Australia on it is using up quite a bit of my available credit!) You can imagine my sigh of relief then when the waiter ran my card, and it went through. Hurrah!

After dinner, I spent some of my time talking to Dom, my friend Tara's boyfriend. He seems like a nice enough guy, although not without significant failings. (He's a smoker and gets VERY obviously irritated when he hasn't had a cigarette in a while). Oh well, I suppose these are the choices we all make. Perhaps why I'm single and why Tara is with someone is that I look for reasons NOT to date someone, while she looks for reasons to go for it. Maybe she has the better attitude about it....but to be honest I'm not sure I'm missing out. Still, Dom seems quite sweet on her, so I guess they're a well-suited couple.

I also got a chance to meet my friend Martina's new boyfriend, and I was almost ashamed of myself for being a bit surprised when he turned out to be black. After all, she'd never mentioned it, but then again, why should she? The colour of a man's skin really doesn't matter, it's the content of his character that does, and she seems happy with him. I guess it's just like you can be momentarily startled when you meet someone who you imagined as blonde and they turn out to be brunette. Doesn't really make a difference, but does shake your mental picture a bit!

Mostly though, I just ended up talking to John, the Lady Z's boy. Given that she is following this guy all of the way to Abu Dhabi, I of course have had my reasons to be suspicious of him, but I have to say that every time I meet him, the more I like him. Just seems like an honourable, decent bloke. In the end, I think I approve. Looking forward to next weekend's leaving party, where all of John and Z's friends will be there, and we can have one last big bash before they go.

After dinner, more people kept showing up, including Princess and Rob, who had been at the rugby earlier. I chatted to them for a bit, but quite quickly realised I was getting awfully tired. Once I made it to midnight, having stayed all through dinner, drinks, and even some dancing, I decided that I'd done my bit and gave myself leave to go home (in time to catch the last Tube!) Yet perhaps being a bad friend, I decided to not bother saying good-bye to Z, knowing that she would pout and try to pester me into staying until I'd surely missed the last train. Hence I slipped out and simply texted her, sure that there were enough other friends there to stay and party with her. I think we both had a much more enjoyable evening when I was home and happy in my bed by 1 AM!

Drinks at the Caledonian

At the Valentine's Dinner at the Farmer's Club a few weeks ago, I met a young man who turned out to be the only man I gave my information to that evening. Not because he was that attractive (although despite his height, I think he has a certain charm), but because he instantly struck me as one of those people who is the social glue for many others, one of the people that you should ALWAYS make an effort to get to know.

Hence, when I received an invitation from this young man to drinks at the Caledonian Club this evening, I delighted to accept. It was basically an event for all of the regulars who normally go to these Inter-Club events, and when I arrived I saw many familiar faces from previous events. The host for the evening was absolutely brilliant, as from the moment he saw me, he greeted me, introduced me to everyone, and even got me a drink. Throughout the evening he was constantly circulating, but I think that was what made him such an outstanding host, that he never let his guests stand idle, always making sure they had someone to talk to.

I was surprised to see Carolyn and The Old Boyfriend (who she'd broken up with in January) arrive at about the same time, and at first when they were at opposite sides of the room, I wondered if this was to be the first awkward event where they both turned up. Yet imagine my surprise and relief when they both started chatting to one another, and it became quickly apparent that they were on good terms again. When The Old Boyfriend turned away at one point, I asked Carolyn what the story was, and she just smiled and said she'd walked out on the relationship in January, but then recently had decided to walk back in again. Given that they are both lovely people (and I think everyone was kind of awkward dealing with them separately), it was just a huge relief for all parties involved to have them back together!

I found myself chatting with quite a few men throughout the evening, nice enough chaps but no real interest anywhere, aside from the fact that I was fascinated by how many were wearing Freemason's ties. Aren't the Masons supposed to be a "secret" society? But I guess it shows what kind of strange crowds I run in, that I seem to know so many Masons...

I also ran into the Obnoxious American who I (sorta) hooked up with last October, and was pleasantly surprised when he greeted me instead of avoiding me the way he usually does at these events. Perhaps we're proceeding back towards normalcy...and I've definitely learned my lesson about not going for any casual hook-ups with this crowd, where you constantly run into the same people again and again!

Eventually, I became enthralled in conversation with a Scotsman who had studied at Emory University in Atlanta, and started talking to me about how the Scots felt a real kinship with people in the Southern US. When I asked why, he told me, "Think of the Confederate Battle Flag. What does it look like?" So I described the Southern Battle Flag (which he corrected my original statement that it was the Confederate Flag, informing me that the "Stars and Bars" was the actual flag of the Confederate States, that what we think of as being the Confederate Flag is just the battle flag), which is the blue "X" with stars on a red background.

With a sly look around the room, he asked me, "Does it remind you of anything you see here?" When he gave a subtle glance towards the Scottish flag hanging on the wall, it suddenly dawned on me: "It's the St. Andrew's Cross!" That white X on the blue background was clearly the Confederate Battle Flag with different colours. And he then proceeded to give me a short lesson on how the Scots had influenced Southern history, and how Lincoln had cleverly played the English with the Emancipation Proclamation to keep them from getting involved in the war. He apologised for "boring" me, but in truth it was one of the most fascinating discussions I'd had in a long time. How funny then, the next morning when I looked him up on Facebook to add him as a friend, I was surprised to find a friend-request already waiting. He'd apparently wanted to continue being my friend just as much as I did his!

Finally, despite that I was having a wonderful time, I noticed that it was 11:45 PM, and the smarter people were heading for the exits to grab the last Tube home. So with a sigh, I acknowledged that I should do the same, and headed home. But what a wonderful evening!

This One Must Be Cursed

So, some may remember that before I was due to leave for Panama, I was supposed to go to the movies with Neighbour Guy. Yet he cancelled at the last minute to go to the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. It was fine as that then left me free for dinner in the evening with an old South African friend, but then I told him that after we both got home, we'd need to get together for a "Who Had the Cooler Vacation?" contest.

So, I texted him on Thursday to let him know that I was back. And he replied thanking me for my text, but informing me that he'd come home from Canada to find that he'd lost his job. Hence, he'd gone home to his parents' house in Ireland while he tried to figure out what to do next. When I texted my sympathies, he told me that he'd sort of seen it coming, but it came as a shock nonetheless. So now he needed to figure out what to do next, and perhaps he wouldn't be "Neighbour Guy" for much longer, as he might need to move due to his changed circumstances. Yet he promised to call whenever he was back in town...

It all struck me as kind of funny, for I think while I might have given Subway Guy another date, it was losing my job that totally distracted me and sank that one. Now that the roles are reversed, I can only assume that the same thing will happen here. After all that's happened to keep us from meeting up thus far, I must simply conclude that the whole thing is cursed. Despite the extraordinary coincidences that brought us together, an even larger number of extraordinary coincidences seem to be keeping us apart.

Which then brings me to the odd realization that I am, for the first time in a long time, without a single prospect on the horizon. Not a crush, not a guy I'm supposed to meet up with for drinks sometime, just nothing. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Blank slate.

At least however, I feel open to it. I was surprised at how much time we spent while in Panama discussing my cousin K's love life, or namely lack of. The problem seems to be that she has an unrequited crush on a male friend of hers, yet seems completely unable to get over it, no matter how many times she reads "He's Just Not That Into You". Admittedly, the guy sounds like he's the classic sort who wants the non-sexual benefits of a relationship (someone to go to dinner with, a movie-watching companion), without the emotional entanglements or responsibility. Which has led my cousin along somewhat and confused her to a degree, but instead of just drawing a line under the whole thing and moving on, she's still stuck. The guy has even moved to South Africa, but she was still talking about going to visit him. (It should be noted that he has NOT invited her to come visit him, and we all firmly insisted that although we wouldn't go regardless, she definitely could not go unless she received an unsolicited invitation. After all, who wants to visit someone who you've sort of foisted yourself on?)

And my cousin H made the excellent point that until cousin K freed up the mental energy she had been wasting on this guy, she wasn't going to be open to meeting new people, to starting a new relationship. And I think H had an excellent point, that even if you're "technically" not in a relationship, you need to also "mentally" be free too. You can't be holding back, mentally checking out, reserving yourself for someone who isn't reserved for you.

So it may be a blank slate, but at least I'm open and looking forward to what's written next.

Panama - Final Thoughts

Some final thoughts on the wonder that is Panama...

American Imperialism
Wow, Panama was an incredible view into how the US has really stuck it's nose into Latin American affairs over the years. And I thought Operation Condor was bad...The Canal, the 1989 Invasion...those were just the tip of the iceberg. Some of the influence seems to have been good (the canal is really an engineering marvel, and we just GAVE it to them in 1999?), some bad (I've never seen a country more patriotic about how they kicked out their evil colonial overlords), and some just puzzlingly familiar (they use US dollars as their main currency, yet call them "balboas", but insist on using their own Panamanian coins, which are apparently made for them by the US mints. A most puzzling pointless loop). It was funny how much more instantly familiar Panama seemed than the UK, given that most of the things in the grocery stores were American-style products, and they used the same current in their electrical devices. Given that the Canal Zone was actually originally a slice of the US in Panama, I guess that familiarity makes sense.

American Retirees
Apparently Panama is the 4th most popular place for Americans to retire, which was definitely in evidence. It was almost like visiting Florida. And Panama makes it easy too, granting anyone a visa who can prove regular income of at least $500 a month. It seems like as much as Panama is glad to have the Americans out, they kind of want them back...

Cruise Ship People
Given that a popular thing to do is to take a cruise through the Panama Canal (cost of $150 per person gets added to the cost of the cruise), there were cruise ship people everywhere in Panama City. It was funny, as people constantly seemed surprised to see our tiny group wandering on our own, without stickers on our shirts identifying what ship we belonged to, with no provided water bottles and vacant looks on our faces. (Then when we started speaking Spanish, their minds were just about blown). I've never been on a cruise, but I also don't think I'm ever interested in going on one either. We did get the privledge of actually seeing a cruise ship going through the canal, where every single cabin balcony was occupied by a 70-something couple, with all of the men having an inexplicable fondness for wearing Speedos. I do hope I'm still travelling when I'm in my 70's, but not like that!

Environmentalism
I'd been to Costa Rica in 2003, a country which has really figured out "eco-tourism". Panama is now trying to do the same despite coming a bit later to the game, but I fear in some ways it might be too late. Nearly everywhere we went, we saw burning rainforests, and some of the world's most tropical and wettest areas looked like the barren grasslands of Africa. The jungles that remained however were fascinating, with bright blue butterflies the size of my hand fluttering about everywhere. And army ants! Talk about engineering marvels, I think that the inspiration for the Canal must have come from those tiny creatures clearing paths and doing extraordinary things in the jungle.

Paying for the Pleasure of Another's Company
As it came near time to leave our first hotel in Playa Venao, B&H revealed to us what we'd long suspected: The hotel cost waaaaay more than $20 a night, but our cousin Marie had been subsidizing the cost. Basically, she wanted to stay somewhere nice, and knowing that we couldn't afford to do it on our own budgets, she chose to simply subsidize our stay so we would all be together. Indeed, we had a lovely time and I think Marie really enjoyed herself, all because she laid out the money to make it happen.

Again, when we were out at lunch with Pete at the Causeway, he brought up the topic of whether or not it was ever rude to pay for someone else's meal, particularly when they were visiting town. Having done this many times myself to thank a host for their hospitality or just to treat those who have already made a great effort to come out with me, I of course thought it was fine.

But it makes you realise, that sometimes we all pay simply for the pleasure of another's company. Sure, we all have the ability to pay our own way, but sometimes it is such a treat to be out with someone, paying for them to come seems like a pleasure. After all, money isn't much fun when you insist on spending it all on yourself. Having once travelled alone, I swore never to do it again, and I can understand occasions where it's worth a bit more of an outlay to have company. Same goes for dining alone. It's much more fun with company.

I guess which brings me to one of the lines from the fantastic movie I saw on the plane on the way home, "Up in the Air". George Clooney asks the reluctant groom, "What are your best memories? Your happiest memories? Were you alone?" And so it goes, that sometimes we will pay more than our fair share of splitting things down the middle, that sometimes we will be the one leaned on more than the one who leans. But sometimes, the simple pleasure of having someone else to share it all with makes it a good deal.

That's What Makes Them Who They Are
Among my cousins, we each seem to play certain roles. And the funny part is that, whether they are the right roles or not, they continue to play them across all situations. My brother is the peace-maker and the tension-breaker, the guy who always seems to know the right funny quip to make everyone laugh at an otherwise down or tense moment. My cousin Brendan is the adventurer, the one who pushes us to new and interesting experiences.

His wife Hillary is the organizer, the one who takes charge, who keeps all the receipts, who keeps tabs on everything, a bit of the control freak. Now, as someone who hates planning her own vacations, I thought this was fantastic. I could just sit back and let someone else do all of the work. Yet, it was funny when my cousin Marie was paying all of the bills and declaring how she wanted to do things, how that threw the control freak for a loop! Although I think she enjoyed having Marie around, I think Hillary was somewhat glad when she regained control of the whole trip again!

As for me, I'm the intellectual, the font of endless knowledge. Sometimes I think people appreciate this, like when they ask a question and it's like they have Google at their fingertips, explaining how Noriega was a double-agent to the CIA and the motivations behind the 1989 invasion. Yet sometimes I'm sure I try people's patience with my facination for arcane knowledge, and goodness knows I get frustrated with people who just don't seem as quick or clever as I am. I know I constantly have people admonishing me that not everyone "just picks up on" foreign languages when they hear them, that not everyone can remember lengthy check-lists in their heads or logicially think through things several steps ahead. And of course, we've been through it many times how I don't understand shy people. I swear to you though, I'm trying my best to be more sympathetic and understanding. I acknowledge that I'm not perfect, which is a good first step, right?

Panama - Parque Nacional Soberanía and Canal

Panama is known also for it's jungles, so the next day we went hiking in Parque Nacional Soberania, where we once again managed to pay the local rate for the entrace fee instead of the foriegner rate... The hike was beautiful (if hot) and we had a fascinating time watching all of the army ants go by, and having some fun building "dams" for them to climb over. Army ants are really amazing in their determination and engineering efficiency!

We then got to see another engineering marvel that afternoon, when we went to go check out the Panama Canal. The whole thing was absolutely awe-inspiring, as we watched a giant cruise ship pass through the locks, being gradually lowered down by the water and moved through the locks by the locomotives. Although as we watched this cruise ship pass through the canal, we had to wonder why so many elderly couples chose to wave to the crowds from their cabin balconies whilst wearing Speedoes, or even (gulp!) tidy-whities? Definitely a sight to behold!

Panama - Casca Viejo

All too soon, it was time to return from Play Venao to Panama City, where we said good-bye to Marie, and picked up Pete. The second stage of Cousinpalooza was on!

We spent our next day touring Casco Viejo, the old part of Panama City. We walked along the old sea wall, I got a Panama hat (which was destroyed only a few hours later by a torrential downpour, and took a tour of the Teatro Colon. It was great because this random guy showed up to give us a tour, and ended up taking us out from the theatre to the Bolivar governmental buildings, and all around the city. We eventually had to depart the tour early to go grab lunch, although I think that guy was exceptionally good (if random) value for money!

Eventually we decided to head out to the Causeway, where we negotiated with tons of cabs before finding ones that would take us out there for the price we wanted (although finding cabs with seatbelts seemed to be too much of a challenge!) We then took a long walk down the Causeway, before Brendan had an inspired idea of how to get us off our feet: Rent a four-person bike with six people! Hence we spent the rest of the afternoon cycling up and down the Causeway, to much mirth and merriment, as Brendan fulfilled a lifetime ambition by riding one of those bikes.

Panama - Playa Venao

After a lovely breakfast at our hostel in Pedasi (fresh fruit and eggs, served out under the trees), we did some exploring of the quaint little town, checking out the local church and the town square, wandering up and down the few streets and peering in at people's houses. It was amazing, as all of the houses were rather small affairs, but without glass windows or air-conditioning, despite the brutal heat. I guess when you can't afford it, this is just how you live. Yet, it seemed that people had everything they needed in this small village, with a lively atmosphere on the streets and porch fronts, because everyone was outside trying to get a breeze, it being too hot to stay cooped up indoors.

I have to say that I was plagued by the question the guidebooks said I would be, which was, "What on earth do these people DO?" It was rather stunning how in the middle of the day on a Monday, people were just sitting on their porches, walking out in the streets, and just seeming to while away the time. Aside from the few hotels and cafes (that were almost never open), I could discern no viable industry in Pedasi. While some might argue that the wonderful way in which people seem to have nothing but endless amounts of time is a wonderful mark of the slow pace of Caribbean life, you can't help but wonder if it might also be a reason that Panama is never quite considered a financial and industrial powerhouse. We might work too much in the US, but at least we seem to have the prosperity to show for it.

After a morning spent wandering around the town, we got in the car and drove 40 minutes down the road to Playa Venao, where we were staying for the next few days. We were staying in a lovely hotel right on the beach, and so we arrived at 1:20 PM, eager to have lunch at the hotel restaurant before they closed at 2 PM. Yet, when we arrived, we discovered that this restaurant didn't work that way, as you generally had to book in much in advance, and they were completely unprepared for our last-minute request.

You have to understand, everyone was feeling VERY hungry, tired, and cranky, and this was just not what we wanted to hear. Yet, before people could get too pissy, I ran out to the car, grabbed all of the remaining Oreos I could get my hands on, and then we set off on a walk down the beach to find another restaurant hopefully further on down the beach. (Not to imply that I was in great shape either, because I was starving and as short-tempered as everybody else. Yet, I seemed to be one of the few people in our crowd with the self-awareness to do anything about it).

We walked down the beach to where we found a great little thatched-roof cabana-style restaurant, seemingly populated by shirtless surfers, offering a very chilled vibe and a cheap and simple menu offering just the type of stuff we were looking for: Fresh fish and burgers.

So we stayed for lunch, drinking Panama beer (the local brew), and just enjoying the sea breeze coming in off the ocean as we ate our lunch. Got talking to the proprietor, a guy named Alex, and after a fantastic afternoon and completely satisfying lunch, told him that we'd be back for dinner.

After lunch, we slathered on the sunscreen (having discovered that our short jaunt down the beach had resulted in us getting quite pink) and jumped in the swimming pool at the hotel, where we spent some time talking to more American retirees. Kind of fascinating, they said they thought that Costa Rica was going downhill, that crime there was getting worse in recent years. That Panama was really the place to be. Obviously, they're probably a bit biased, but it was interesting nonetheless.

In the evening, we went back to the restaurant we'd fallen in love with that afternoon, where we found that they had indeed reserved a table for us. Had another fabulous meal, drinking wine and chatting late into the evening. We'd actually had some of the wine from Bodega Fin del Mundo that afternoon, and enjoyed it so much that we insisted they set aside their remaining two bottles for us that evening. Just as delicious as we'd remembered.

After dinner, we walked back along the beach by moonlight, which was amazingly bright. You have to understand, there were almost no developments or anything on this beach, and the stretch of sand that was a 20-minute walk back to our hotel was illuminated by nothing other than the moon and stars. Yet we could still see quite well with the full moon overhead. We had some good jokes about how we were living out every cheesy personal ad in the paper, taking "romantic moonlit walks on the beach". It reminded me of what a girl had once told me years ago when I'd been in Costa Rica: Such situations are "Ro-tic", which is to say "Romantic, without the 'man'!"

As we walked back along the beach, we were suddenly alarmed to see a giant shape moving ahead of us, which upon closer inspection we realised with a giant sea turtle! Admittedly, the turtle seemed as eager to get away from us as we were to get close to it, and quickly it had scuttled out to the ocean and was carried away by the waves. But how remarkable, to actually see a sea turtle out on the beach like that!

Finally we got back to our hotel, where we arrived hot, sweaty, and sticky, to a beautiful, crystal-clear swimming pool bathed in moonlight. Nobody was around, and suddenly we all had the same idea: Why not jump in?

Not wanting to bother going back to our rooms to change, the girls all decided to go in stripped down to our underwear, but since it didn't make sense to get our expensive bras wet, we dispensed with those and went in simply in our knickers. My brother thought better of the whole thing however, and just went for the Full Monty, going in without clothes on at all. Suddenly inspired (because skinny-dipping is so much more fun!) we all then shucked off our clothes, until everybody was swimming about free and easy.

We must have spent hours in that pool, hooting and hollering and laughing, and to my astonishment, nobody ever came out to discover us all swimming in the buff. Our only company that evening turned out to be some VERY large frogs!

Eventually, we all had to face up to the problem of getting out of the pool without flashing our nudity to the world, and one-by-one we just gave up, jumping out and displaying our distressingly white behinds for the world to see. Thank goodness for all the towels left out by the hotel staff (and the next morning I'm sure they were wondering why all of the towels had dissappeared overnight!)

The next day my cousin Brendan had the brilliant idea that we all needed to learn how to surf. So he rented a board, got us all out in the ocean, and one-by-one pushed us out on the waves until everyone managed to get the hang of standing up on the board. It was funny for me, because my brother and my cousin Kate seemed to get the hang of it after only four or five tries (my brother was a real natural at it), whereas I had to doggedly persist at it for an hour-and-a-half before I finally figured out how to stand up on the board! (At least to my credit, once I got it, I got it, and I was able to stand up forever after that). I really was amazed at my cousin Brendan however, who never gave up on me, despite surely being tempted to conclude I was just never going to get it!

After surfing for several hours, we stopped for lunch, and then eventually went back to the hotel for some more swimming and just hanging out in the hammocks in a small cabana that we had determined was "our" hangout area.

We then decided that for a change of pace, we would have dinner at our hotel that evening, as we realised that if the hotel was willing to serve us our own wine that we had brought with us, the price differential between the hotel and our favourite restaurant down the beach wasn't that bad. So we did have a lovely dinner, and then afterwards retreated to the hammocks, where we drank more wine and told stories, which eventually descended into a fascinating discussion with my cousin Marie about how she had become a foster child, and what had finally made her decide to be formally adopted by my aunt and uncle when she was 34. It was funny, because although she'd always been around while we were growing up, as small children we didn't really understand the particulars of the situation. Yet, it was amazing to listen to her stories, and realise that while my uncle has seemed somewhat remote and distant to me at times, for my cousin he was absolutely the perfect parent. I guess it just made me really glad to be a part of my family, as while I was lucky enough to be born with stellar parents, it's nice to know that even those who join from the outside are thrilled with the parents they get.

We finished out the evening by telling more silly stories (I was in stitches at some of the stories, which were made funnier in that they were usually all about our parents), and played banannagrams (our new favourite game) before finally heading to bed at another late hour.

The next morning we decided to go surfing again (want to make sure we hadn't forgotten all that we'd learned the day before), and this day my cousin left us to catch waves on our own, which added a whole new dimension of difficulty to surfing. I was quite chuffed with myself then when I actually once did manage to catch my own wave and stand up on my board, surfing into shore!

We then found ourselves in a debate about whether to go home that day (as we had originally planned), or perhaps to stay for yet another day. In the end, we decided to defer to my cousin Marie, as it was going to be her last day, whilst the rest of us were going to be staying in Panama for a while yet. She decided to stay, but our hotel had no more room for us. So we walked down the beach, and found another hotel with room for us....in a five-bed dorm room, with a toilet right in the middle of the room.

Now you see, as we left the previous hotel, we learned that something fishy had been going on. You see, my cousin Marie owns her own business, and does VERY well for herself. As such, she has certain standards in how she likes to travel, the kind of wine she's willing to drink, and so forth. So while everyone else was on a strict budget, Marie wasn't willing to go quite so budget. So she'd contacted my other cousins B&H, and told them to book somewhere more expensive, she would cover it, and the rest of us would just believe the lie that the place was only $20 a night. Of course, B&H told us anyway, as they knew there was no way we would ever believe that such a swank hotel cost only $20 a night. Yet, if we were going to stay, it would mean staying at a place that was REALLY $20 a night.

Hence, we ended up in a small hotel down the beach with five of us all packed into a dorm room with bunk beds and a toilet right in the middle of the room (separated from the rest of the room by a small screen).

This would then lead to one of the funniest parts of the trip, where as we fell asleep that night, Dave insisted he needed to pee. As we all lay in our bunks, we could hear the trickle into the toilet...going on, and on, and on.... Was he a camel? How much had this guy had to drink? The trickling noises continued, as we all started to laugh our heads off, until it became apparent that no human could have a bladder that big.... At last he "finished" when everyone was just about peeing themselves with laughter! (And he even remembered to wash his hands when he was finished!)

Panama - Pedasi and Isla Iguana

Finally, after looking forward to it for ages, I was finally on my way to Panama for Cousinpalooza 2010!

I got selected for a ton of random checks at the airport (I think quite simply because I was early), where a guy checked my suitcase handles for explosive material, and at the gate they went through all of my bags. Annoying, but I guess they're just trying to be careful...

On the flight, I watched "Bright Star", about the romance between John Keats and Fanny Brawne. We'd visited Keat's old home in Hampstead over the summer, so I was curious to see the film. It was actually quite remarkable, to think of how hard it is these days to find someone you can fall passionately in love with, but at least if you do, you can be assured that you'll be able to marry them. How awful then to see the story of Keats and Fanny, where they were madly in love with one another, but couldn't marry because Keats was too poor to support a wife. How lucky we are, that we as women are no longer dependent on a man to support us, that we can marry a rich man or a poor man, where the only requirement we have left for marriage these days is love.

Also a story of reality, but much more inspiring, was "More than a Game", the story of LeBron James' high school basketball career. It was entirely a documentary, putting together footage of his early high school games with interviews with all of his teammates later on in life. Given that I'm not that into basketball, and I knew how the story ended (we all know what happened to LeBron James after high school!), I was surprised how into the movie I got!

Once I made it to Miami, I breeze through customs, and quickly found my way back to where I was supposed to be. I was just annoyed however when I took money out of a Bank of America ATM, and it gave me $50 bills, which my cousins had specifically warned me were useless in Panama. And given that it was a Saturday, the Bank of America in the airport was closed, so I was stuck with $100 of useless money. So I went to Subway and bought a sandwich, and then on the other side of security, bought a bottle of water. I was kind of annoyed that I had to spend $10 on useless stuff just to break my $50 bills, but at least nobody put up a fuss, and then since they only had food for purchase on the next flight, I was all stocked up with food!

The flight to Panama was uneventful, although it was really freaky as we came into land, as I couldn't see any lights out the window of the plane AT ALL. It was just this endless sea of black, as the plane kept getting lower and lower, and it looked like we were just diving into a sea of black. It was only at the very last minute that the runway popped up under the plane, just in time!

I got through customs relatively easily, and then outside I was greeted by the crowds, everyone was there to meet me! We exchanged lots of hugs, and everybody laughed at how I was dressed in jeans and a fleece. I was warned I should strip down as much as possible, and as soon as I stepped outside, I knew why. It was just like walking into the hottest, muggiest, wall of heat you can imagine. Yet it was glorious, to realise that I was finally here in Panama!

My cousin Marie had rented a car, so she, Hillary, and Katie got in the rental car, where I got into the old car affectionately known as "The Beast" with my brother and cousin Brendan.

As we drove along, it was fascinating to see all of Panama City lit up in front of us, as I would never have expected that this tiny Central American country would have so many high-rises. Yet, as we got closer it became apparent that the majority of them were still dark and under construction. Half of the Panamanian skyline seemed to be construction cranes!

Then, as we continued to drive, my cousin got totally lost. At one point, we drove into a neighbourhood where we surrepticiously locked our doors, while trying to find a way out as quickly as possible. You definitely don't want to be the only white person in a brand new rental car (or even an old, beat-up truck) in some parts of Panama City!

My cousin kept thinking that he could find his way out of it if he just drove towards the canal, figuring that we would eventually hit the canal and then find our way to Camp Clayton, where my uncle's house (where we were staying) was. So you can imagine our surprise when that genius plan failed to work out, and we found ourselves on the Puente de las Américas over the canal!

We then kept taking random, unlit, dark roads through the jungle, desperately trying to turn around and get back over the bridge. It was totally wild, just driving down these dark jungle roads, hoping desperately that we might come to a turn that would let us come out and go back across the bridge.

Eventually, we actually did make it back across the Puente de las Américas, and then someone had the bright idea to turn on the GPS in the rental car, and we actually made it back to Ciudad del Saber in Camp Clayton, and finally to the house and to bed!

We then stopped by the local grocery store to stock up on supplies, and then came home to have a simple dinner of chicken, ratatouille and vegetables. Given the hour, we spent way too much time sitting around, drinking wine and Panamanian beer, but eventually crashed into bed. My brother, cousin Katie and I were all crashing out in a "bunk room" made up of single bed cots borrowed from the neighbours. Not the most comfortable things ever, but we were so tired, I don't think any of us cared! And it was so hot, with only one fan going, we flopped down without even pulling a single sheet over us, just lying on top of the mattresses sweating in the heat!

In the morning, after a quick breakfast, we loaded up the rental car and got on the Pan-American highway on our drive to Pedasi. It was a four-hour drive with no radio or iPods, but surprisingly we easily filled up the time with just talking and catching up.

We finally made it to Pedasi, checked into our hotel, and then asked the proprietress of the hostel for a recommendation for where to go to lunch. She directed us to a restaurant called "Isla Iguana", which was a nice enough place, although the food was totally forgettable, the service slow, and they mixed up our orders, so that no matter whether you ordered chicken or fish, everybody got chicken! Oh well, we were too short on time to make them fix it, as it was time for us to go back and meet a guy to take us out in a boat to Isla Iguana, an island that was a 15-minute boat ride offshore, that the US Navy apparently used during WWII for target practice. Hence, the island was completely uninhabited, because it was covered with unexploded ordinances. We were well advised to not stray off the well-worn paths on the island!

We made our way down to the shore to meet the guy with the boat who was supposed to take us out there, and I have to admit that it didn't look entirely seaworthy. It didn't help either that just a few minutes into our trip, the engine sputtered and died, and the guy had to work to get it started again. Yet, eventually he did, and 15 minutes later (and some struggling Spanish conversation later), we made our way to the island.

It was a gorgeous uninhabited island, covered in coral that had apparently been killed by a very warm El Nino storm in the late 1980's. It had hermit crabs crawling all over the place, who would suddenly freeze and curl up into their shells as soon as you approached them. We spent some time snorkelling (there were some absolutely beautiful blue fish), and just enjoying wandering on the shore, listening to the "tinkle, tinkle, tinkle" of the coral as the waves came in and the coral tumbled over itself, sounding like chimes.

Eventually, after the sun set, we hopped back on the boat and went back to Pedasi to look for dinner. We wandered through town looking for a restaurant the proprietress of the hostel had recommended to us, but when we got there, it was closed. We wandered back through the town square and watched some kids who were playing sports in some covered indoor sports arena for a while.

We then went to another restaurant, but as soon as we sat down, they told us that they were closed too. Finally out of ideas, we ran to the local market, where we dashed through in a hurry picking up all of the interesting junk food we could get our hands on. We then went back to the hotel with our stash of Oreos, weird SPAM-like ham, American cheese, bread, Doritos, and tons of other junk food.
The proprietess of the hostel then brought us up some cutlery and glasses, and we ended up sitting around a coffee table in the outdoor lounge area, making the most ridiculous junk food sandwiches we could think of (peanut butter and jelly on Oreos, anyone?) laughing our heads off and just enjoying our ridiculous impromptu dinner.

We then also encountered an American couple on their way out for an evening walk, and ended up talking to them for a while, enjoying hearing the man's stories about living in Panama (we guessed that we was a retired NYC cop), and giggling about how he was the only person we'd ever heard say "Fuggedaboudit" in that quintessential New York way that you don't think really exists outside of the movies.

Finally we were stuffed and sick on junk food (I suppose there's a reason your parents don't normally let you eat dinners like that), and so feeling all hot, sweaty, and sticky, we retired to our rooms and into bed!