So, some may remember that before I was due to leave for Panama, I was supposed to go to the movies with Neighbour Guy. Yet he cancelled at the last minute to go to the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. It was fine as that then left me free for dinner in the evening with an old South African friend, but then I told him that after we both got home, we'd need to get together for a "Who Had the Cooler Vacation?" contest.
So, I texted him on Thursday to let him know that I was back. And he replied thanking me for my text, but informing me that he'd come home from Canada to find that he'd lost his job. Hence, he'd gone home to his parents' house in Ireland while he tried to figure out what to do next. When I texted my sympathies, he told me that he'd sort of seen it coming, but it came as a shock nonetheless. So now he needed to figure out what to do next, and perhaps he wouldn't be "Neighbour Guy" for much longer, as he might need to move due to his changed circumstances. Yet he promised to call whenever he was back in town...
It all struck me as kind of funny, for I think while I might have given Subway Guy another date, it was losing my job that totally distracted me and sank that one. Now that the roles are reversed, I can only assume that the same thing will happen here. After all that's happened to keep us from meeting up thus far, I must simply conclude that the whole thing is cursed. Despite the extraordinary coincidences that brought us together, an even larger number of extraordinary coincidences seem to be keeping us apart.
Which then brings me to the odd realization that I am, for the first time in a long time, without a single prospect on the horizon. Not a crush, not a guy I'm supposed to meet up with for drinks sometime, just nothing. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Blank slate.
At least however, I feel open to it. I was surprised at how much time we spent while in Panama discussing my cousin K's love life, or namely lack of. The problem seems to be that she has an unrequited crush on a male friend of hers, yet seems completely unable to get over it, no matter how many times she reads "He's Just Not That Into You". Admittedly, the guy sounds like he's the classic sort who wants the non-sexual benefits of a relationship (someone to go to dinner with, a movie-watching companion), without the emotional entanglements or responsibility. Which has led my cousin along somewhat and confused her to a degree, but instead of just drawing a line under the whole thing and moving on, she's still stuck. The guy has even moved to South Africa, but she was still talking about going to visit him. (It should be noted that he has NOT invited her to come visit him, and we all firmly insisted that although we wouldn't go regardless, she definitely could not go unless she received an unsolicited invitation. After all, who wants to visit someone who you've sort of foisted yourself on?)
And my cousin H made the excellent point that until cousin K freed up the mental energy she had been wasting on this guy, she wasn't going to be open to meeting new people, to starting a new relationship. And I think H had an excellent point, that even if you're "technically" not in a relationship, you need to also "mentally" be free too. You can't be holding back, mentally checking out, reserving yourself for someone who isn't reserved for you.
So it may be a blank slate, but at least I'm open and looking forward to what's written next.
No comments:
Post a Comment