Lovely Dutch Girl's Quarter Century

Wow.  Now THAT was a party!!

This evening was my friend the Lovely Dutch Girl's 25th birthday party, and unlike when the Tall South African had his earlier this year, she actually planned ahead.  We'd all received invites in the post, there had been numerous reminders, and we were all gearing up for an "Alice in Neverland"-themed party.  And with so many options to choose from for this theme, we were all quite assured that costumes were compulsory.  

The bartenders

I had made plans to meet a friend for tea in the afternoon, and so popped around to her flat at 5 PM to have tea and discuss her plans to potentially move to New York.  Given that I knew I'd have to go straight from hers to the party, I brought the makings of my costume with me, that of a fairy (given that Tinkerbell was a known inhabitant of Neverland).  Mostly because I already had the fairy wings, bought for £1 over a year ago for another party, so I figured if I wore them again I'd be down to 50p a wearing!   

   

As I walked from my friend's place to the party, I saw I had a message from the Irishman, saying, "Going as a "Fairy" eh??? Again I am compelled to ask whether this will be a real fairy, or a "Mean Girls" inspired fairy??? I'm certainly hopeful I see some photos, especially if you go for the latter type of fairy! Either way, I have no doubt you look stunning!!! 

Thank God I didn't encounter any real fairies in the woods, and all that I seemed to encounter was a few more racy thoughts about a certain American, who has a propensity to dress as a fairy, and no doubt a very sexy one.  ;-)"

I'd known that he hadn't written as much this past week because he'd been off in the woods on a family holiday, but it still did make me feel better to hear from him.  It just brightens my day when I do.  

I arrived at the party and was greeted with a glass of champagne from one of the shirtless waiters standing at the entrance, which amazed me.  She'd hired waiters and bouncers?

Oh, but it was about to get even better.  When I made my way into the back garden, the whole place was done up like an enchanted fairy land, with twinkling lights, flickering candles, and little bunnies hidden in the shadows of the garden.  It was absolutely magical, and stunned me with the effort she had obviously gone to for this.  

Neverland

Everyone seemed to have gotten the memo about coming in costume, to the point that many people came up and spoke to me, and it was only upon hearing their voice that I realised who on earth they were.  This of course did lead to the unsettling experience of finding myself talking to people who obviously recognised me, and it taking me a good 10-15 minutes of conversation to figure out who they were and how I knew them.  Of course, at the point I eventually figured it out, I would want to interrupt them and excitedly exclaim that I knew who they were, but turns out you can't actually do that.  

Costumes

After getting stuck in conversation with dull people for a bit, I was delighted when the Young Dutchman and Kellogg Boy arrived, and came and greeted me with such enthusiasm that I knew they were as delighted to see me as I was them.  I had a good time chatting with them and quaffing glasses of champagne spiked with raspberry vodka, although I tried to keep it tame, as I wasn't keen on drinking too much this evening.  I think I've learned enough from these sorts of parties in the past!  

With The Blonde

The Blonde arrived, and although I took a few photos with her, I didn't get much of a chance to catch up with her, as the Tall South African had brought along his girlfriend visiting from Italy, who didn't know anyone, and was obviously somewhat lost.  I was trying my best to look after her, but it was the usual case of a painful introvert dating an extreme extrovert.  Not shy, mind you, but just obviously overwhelmed by the crowds, which the extroverted Tall South African was totally missing.  And it's tough, because with introverts I love and adore like Joel, I have no problem looking after them, but with ones I don't know at all, it's tricky to wonder how much you need to take care of them.  

Birthday cake (and treats!)

My good intentions to try to head home at a reasonable hour proved to be for naught, as suddenly at 1 AM I realised that all of the trains had gone already, so I might as well stay.  The cake had come out, I'd only spilled a little bit of the incredibly staining berries on my all-white outfit (tricky stuff to wear to a party!) and had generally just missed all of the canapés, making me think it had been a bad move to miss dinner.  

The band

Sometime after midnight they made us all retire indoors and the band had to stop playing (yes, there was a band!) and things turned into the usual way these parties go, with very drunk boys hitting on me, as it had reached that point in the evening and they'd had enough alcohol to get up the courage.  One guy in a tiger costume had a go, who when he said hello earlier in the evening, I'd totally forgotten that I'd met him back in June at a dinner party the Lovely Dutch Girl had hosted.  It took me about 20 minutes to place him, where I finally remembered that he'd been funny and charming but had smoked, so that was a no-go.  And now he was drunk and hitting on me, even more of a no-go!

With the Tall South African's Italian girlfriend

Everyone was just generally hanging out trying to decide whether to stay or go, and so I found myself in a bedroom of the house, chatting with Kellogg Boy, the Tall South African, and TSA's Italian girlfriend, who seemed as sweet and lost as ever.  It's funny, because the Tall South African is such a player (cheats on this poor girl all the time), and yet is wonderfully devoted to her whenever she is around.  And yet she is so timid and retiring compared to his bold and outgoing personality, it was a bit of a puzzle.  But who knows what attracts people to each other?  When the chemistry hits, I guess you just go with it.

It was an interesting party

I felt badly about not chatting to the Young Dutchman more, but he seemed to have his hands full trying to hit on two girls at once, and also dealing with the Lovely Dutch Girl, who had disappeared for a while, apparently because she was upset that a guy she'd invited to the party because she liked him had gone home with someone else.  Having met the guy in question, I was surprised that she was giving him a second's thought, but again, I obviously have no idea what attracts people to each other.

Kellogg Boy as the King of Hearts

Finally, I concluded that it was late enough (2:30 AM!) and time to go home.  I made plans with Kellogg Boy, the Tall South African and the Italian girlfriend to meet up for coffee the next day, went and found the Young Dutchman, gave him a kiss and promised him that we'd talk the next day.  And then finally walked out, found a cab, and £15 later was at home in my own bed.  

A hug from Tinkerbell!

A lovely enchanted evening, but now it was time for bed!

Hog Roast

The theme of this evening seems to have been "being trapped in conversation with horribly dull people".  I swear, it's making me not want to go out any more, as I really have so little patience for boring people!

After staying up too late to talk to the Irishman the night before, I had to drag myself up and into the office to meet with an MD at my company.  Had a good meeting, although I was falling asleep at my desk for most of the day, and was dragging by the time I made it out in the evening.

I got to the In and Out Club, left my bag at the front desk, and grabbed a drink.  I first started chatting with a couple who I vaguely recalled meeting at a drinks reception at the Oriental Club, and then was delighted to be greeted with a warm kiss from the Young Dutchman, who I had been looking forward to seeing.

Yet I barely got to talk to him before I somehow got pulled into conversation with the Former Head of Inter-Club (nice guy, but a tad bit dull) and some random girl who was also in our conversational group.  I kept looking for opportunities to escape and perhaps mingle a bit more, but I just couldn't see a way to extricate myself from the conversation.  Hence, I was stuck there, being polite until finally I was able to use the natural turn of it being time to go get food to extract myself.

Only to then land into conversation with the current Inter-Club Chairman and Annoying Guy, so quite frankly a step down!  I kept trying to keep making painfully polite conversation with them (always a challenge when Annoying Guy is there, but he seemed blithely oblivious as he went on talking about how great his birthday party was going to be this year and making rude comments about who was going to get laid), until I was finally able to grab some food and search for a chair.  I did at last find a seat at a table with Hong Kong Guy (yay!) and the Former Head of Inter-Club (sigh, so boring!) and a few guys who I didn't know, but I always like talking to new people.  I was having a good chat with one of the newbies, who turned out to be a member of my club, so I was chatting to him trying to persuade him to come along to club events more frequently.

Then, right while I was in mid-conversation with this guy, a rather socially clueless man who I am acquainted with pulled over a chair and inserted himself right in-between us without so much as a by your leave!  I was a bit shocked by this, and the other chap and I continued our conversation over him for a while (I don't know if the man who had pulled up his chair was attempting to join the conversation or what, as he really just sat there like a lump the entire time), but needless to say talking over someone sort of ruins the tenor of conversation, and we eventually gave up.

I quickly finished dessert to escape, and made my way over to where the Young Dutchman and Kellogg Boy where (Kellogg Boy had finally arrived late), but I barely got to chat to them for two minutes before I was interrupted by some German guy who wanted to talk about Obama's recent appearance on the Jay Leno show.  (No really.  Trust me, I was as confused as you are).

Now, this might have been okay, except that this guy then kept railing on about "Chairman Obama" and how "Obamacare" was going to ruin everything in the US.  There are very few issues that drive me into a blind rage, but unfortunately US healthcare policy is one of those.  I tried arguing with this guy for a bit, getting more and more annoyed at his obvious idiocy, and also wondering why Hong Kong Boy's girfriend and Kellogg Boy were doing nothing to rescue me.  It was when the guy finally started doing Hitler salutes that I realised quite how drunk he was, and there is absolutely no point in arguing with drunk people.  At least also at that point there is no need to be polite, so I just walked away from the conversation, searching out someone, anyone else to talk to.

I eventually made my way back around to Hong Kong Boy's girlfriend and Kellogg Boy, who apologised for their lack of interference, but they said it had just been too humorous to watch, as I tried to deal with the raving idiot.  Thanks guys!

The chap in question had the gall to write to me on Facebook the next evening, "I hope no offence was taken yesterday!"

I dithered for ages on how to respond to that, given that quite simply, he'd been absolutely horribly offensive.  Yet you feel like when somebody says, "I hope I didn't offend you," some sort of rules of social nice-ness obliges you to assure them that they didn't, even when they really did.  

I finally settled on replying, "You probably don't quite remember what was said last night if you hope no offence was taken, but we'll chalk that up to the impact of too much wine. Have a little less in the future and I'm sure we'll be fine!"

Really, it was the best I could come up with without just calling him out for being an arse.  As let's face it, that wouldn't help anyone.  At best, I can only hope that it's put him off talking to me in the future!

I spent some more time chatting with Kellogg Boy and Hong Kong Boy's girlfriend (finally, interesting people to talk to!), and Kellogg Boy thanked me for his postcard that I'd sent him from the US.  All of a sudden, I felt bad about not sending one to the Young Dutchman as well in my fit of pique.  but somehow we got dragged up onto the balcony upstairs and separated, and I found myself trapped in conversation with more dull people where I just kept casting about for something, anything, that might get more than monotone responses.

I don't know.  When people start responding to all of your questions with one-word answers, are they just doing that because they really have nothing to say on the topic, or is it because they're desperately hoping you'll go away?

At last I got a welcome unexpected surprise when The Blonde showed up, having just come from dinner with her mother.  I got to meet her mother briefly (a very nice woman), and we chatted for a bit as she showed me the text message she'd received from the chap she'd been flirting with in the bar the night before.  To be honest, after the number of drinks he'd had, I was impressed that he'd remembered her at all, much less to write such a coherent and nice text message!  (I learned later that they made plans to meet up on Friday for after-work drinks.  I will say one thing about The Blonde...she moves fast!)

Eventually the Young Dutchman came over to say goodnight, and noted that we hadn't really gotten a chance to hang out and catch up, and so suggested to me that we try for next Thursday instead.  I was glad at least that he'd noticed that we had really missed each other..as always, parties are a terrible place to catch up.

When Hong Kong Boy and his girlfriend were leaving too, I decided to make use of their gravitational pull to exit myself as well.  As the girlfriend went to get her bags, I was talking to Hong Kong Boy a bit about his back problems, and just as a joke advised him, "Stop sleeping on the couch so much!"  To which he shrugged and replied, "Yeah, but it's the only thing that makes her happy..."

I'm so aware that their relationship is in serious trouble, although I do wonder how it will work out.  She always just seems so angry at him anymore, even though it's just more general frustration that for some reason is all being directed at him.  Yes, he is disorganised and works too much and basically needs someone to look after him, but that's how it is with any guy.  You cannot expect to date a man and want him to be more like a woman.  And so he sleeps on the couch, they never have sex, and she just I think wishes he would shape up and get his act together, but her anger at him will never accomplish that.  To be fair, he could do more to eat well, drink less, and just get his act together and be a better boyfriend, but he always just strikes me as this lost little dog, unsure of why his master is so irritated with him.  With a little bit of kindness and training, they really could be fine, but I wonder if they'll get there...

Finally we left the club and made our way home, where I got to bed by only 11:30 PM, and was quite happy for that.  Enough of the boring conversations, I was glad to be home talking to nobody...better company than dull people, really!

Victoria Run

This evening's run was from Victoria, and I had invited the two girls I'd had drinks with on Thursday to come with me.  They arrived and I introduced them around to a few people, and then we set off on the run.  It was a decent run, although without enough loops or checks, and so I lost the crowd towards the end of it.  I took a shortcut to head straight back to the pub, expecting to be back early, but after only 40 minutes of running everyone was back already.

I didn't get much of a chance to talk to the two girls however, but instead found myself in conversation with The Blonde.  She pointed out a guy standing at the bar, and whispered in my ear, "I think that guy standing over there is incredibly fit.  I want to go over and talk to him, but I'm so nervous!  Do you think I should?  God, he's so good-looking!"

As she continued to fret about this guy and check as to whether he was wearing a wedding ring, I looked over.  I had to admit, he sort of had a Damien Lewis-type look going on, although to be perfectly honest, I thought his friend standing with him was much fitter, and who I will admit I'd noticed when we entered the bar.  I wasn't nearly as keen as she was, but far be it from me to deny my friend an opportunity to hit on a cute guy.  So when she suggested we move over to the bar to at least be in proximity to them should an opportunity for conversation open up, I happily went with her.

It didn't take too long, actually (when The Blonde is around, men tend to notice her pretty quickly), and before too long, the plan went exactly as expected.  The Blonde happily fell into conversation with her Damien Lewis look-alike, and I took his friend, who was a bit shorter and more Zac Efron.  Still, more my style anyway.

It turned out that they both worked for the London Underground, and were out with a bunch of their colleagues for after-work drinks.  The guy I was chatting to was Welsh, under 30, and recently training for a triathlon in two weeks.  He reminded me a lot of CBDG, between the working for a transport company, the good looks but dumb conversation, and just overall sweet nature but lack of intellectual vigour (although perhaps that was due to the fact that they were on round number five by the time we had started talking to them).

I felt a bit badly that I wasn't chatting more to the girls I'd invited, but they seemed to be doing well off on their own, and I had to admit I was enjoying my conversation with these guys, particularly now that one had bought me a drink.

When the circle started outside, we dragged them out with us.  The Blonde kept up her conversation with her ginger boy, and I had a fun time joking around with the Welsh Boy.  We both knew that we'd been paired off because my friend liked his friend, but as a result it sort of took the pressure off of us, and we just had fun goofing around.  He took a picture with me on Snapchat, some new app that all the kids these days are into, which further convinced me that he must be quite young, as the only other people I know who use that app are the Tall South African and my 22-year old cousin.  I laughed, as it didn't escape my attention that the photo he took with me, he sent to a whole bunch of male friends, while he then subsequently took one of just himself and sent it to a few female friends.

We continued to chat for a while, before The Blonde came back and pulled me aside, apparently she'd just snogged her Ginger Boy outside.  "A bit too teeth-y" was her review, although perhaps that could also be put down to the fact that at this point they were up to round number 8 (and the boys had gotten me a second drink as well).

I mingled and talked to a few other people, the girls I'd invited left, and finally when the hour was growing late, Princess suggested we make a move, and so I gladly left with him.  The boys had left a little bit before us, and I hadn't seen where The Blonde had gone, but I got on the Victoria Line with Princess and chatted to him on the train while we waited for it to leave.

Just as the doors were closing, two boys raced down the stairs and jumped through the doors, making it into the train just as it was pulling away.  What a surprise, it was Damien Lewis and the Welsh Boy!  They didn't see us, but when I asked Princess if I should go talk to them, he gave me a little wink and told me to go ahead, although he was going to stay where he was.

So I went over, made some crack, and they recognised me instantly.  The Welsh Boy was quite drunk at this point, although slowly working on sobering up, as he'd gotten a sandwich and a pastry from somewhere.  Perhaps in an indication of how drunk he was, he then insisted on feeding me parts of the sandwich, straight from his fingers into my mouth.  Really flirtatious though, which was a bit of a relief to know that I'd had as much of an effect on him as The Blonde had on his friend!

Finally my stop came, so I gave him a kiss on each cheek good-bye, and he was quite friendly about it, I almost thought he might go in for the full on kiss on the lips, but he just missed that one.  Still, after I gave him a huge friendly good-bye, I just gave a wave to his friend, so there could be no doubt about where my preferences lay!

Although then after all of that, I came home and found the Irishman online, and so told the story of being a wing-woman to him, just trying to make him laugh, and having him do exactly that to me when he regaled me of tales of playing wingman to some of his more inept friends.  And within moments, I was reminded of why no other man can really catch my attention these days, as he had me laughing, truly side-splitting giggles, within minutes.  When I commented that I was looking forward to returning to Dublin and seeing the most handsome Irishman who lives there, he replied, "I'm not sure if Pierce Brosnan still lives here."

When I protested that Pierce Brosnan was indeed witty and glib, I was sure I knew a handsome Irishman who made me laugh a lot more.  Which got the response, "I had no idea Colin Farrell played humorous roles in films?"

Maybe it's just me, but that boy seems to have a direct line into my brain into what will make me laugh. I always just find myself grinning like an idiot after one of our little chats.

The Blonde is always much more goal-oriented than I am when it comes to dating, and so had gotten the Ginger to take her number and arrange for a date on Friday.  On Friday however, I heard from her very early in the evening when she sent me a message:

"Well that was an utter waste of time! Felt no attraction at all to the Ginger this time and was struck by how immature he was! Ended the date early and now on my way home.... He also let me pay for the drinks and wanted to split our food bill - unimpressed!!"

On the one hand, I have to admire the way she is constantly optimistic and sees opportunity everywhere, picking up men in bars and getting them to ask her out on dates.  Yet when I can always tell from the get-go that they won't work out, it makes me wonder, "What is the point, really?"

I'm not sure if either one of us has got it right, but it's interesting to see how the two very different approaches play out...