Vicky Pollard Watch

The Young Dutchman cracked me up on Sunday night, when he started a group chat with me, Sophie, and the Super-Social Scottish Guy saying, "Welcome to Vicky Pollard Watch". Apparently Drunk Girl is really getting to him! I think we all feel guilty to be gossiping, yet gleefully relieved to just be able to vent with a like-minded crowd of people. As the Young Dutchman said, "We've been very, very, patient. I would never take action against anyone unless I feel they are having a severe negative impact on my friends."

So it's very true. We've been trying to be good and patient, and tried to be understanding about the fact that she is young and has some maturing to do. Yet isn't a mark of maturing, to accept advice and change your behaviour accordingly? As the Young Dutchman noted, "The amount of times I have tried to get her to change her behaviour. Especially NYE pissed me off. I warned her multiple times about her behaviour, and then when I leave the party she ends up f*cking some guy in Lotte's bed. That's just appalling."

(Although once again, leaving the Tall South African's name out of it. I'm kind of fascinated by it at this point, just noticing the weird double-standard in play here. He gets away with it whilst she doesn't).

Super-Social Scottish Guy noted, "She treats the Lansdowne Club as if it's her own house. I swear to God, if she even attempts this on the Caledonian Club there will be blood on the tartan carpets! And when you try to explain that she can't invite guests to other clubs on a random basis, she has the audacity to challenge back!"

Sophie remarked, "I was so annoyed to see her inviting people on Friday to the club!!! [The Secretary of the Lansdowne] is aware of her and that she's 'undesirable'. Anyone who is happy for champagne to be mixed in with her wine is bad news."

Super-Social Scottish Guy added, "She was drunk at the ceilidh and poured red wine over poor CS. And as well, she constantly talks about her 'conquests'".

The Young Dutchman had me in stitches when he replied, "Oh, she sleeps around like a nympho. Sadly we have a couple of innocent boys who fall for that. Poor bastards, never knew what sat on them."

Sophie promised to e-mail her on Monday, and I as well sent an e-mail to the Secretary of the Lansdowne about Friday, just to add my name to the "official" list of complaints from members. I had the Young Dutchman read it before I sent it, and once he approved of it, off it went. So I guess we'll see what "official" action needs to be taken.

And then on Monday night, after a week without word, the Tall South African popped up on chat, talking about a cool new musical group he'd just discovered. No "how was your weekend" or "sorry about not talking to you for a week", but just as though we'd left off in the middle of a conversation earlier. So weird. Although as another (male) friend of mine told me, "Maybe he'd just run out of things to say." Weirdly, I guess that makes total sense to a boy. Which is why I once again reiterate: It's never worth trying to figure out what is going on in men's heads...you'll never get it anyway.