Reading Poetry at 2 AM

Reading poetry at 2 AM

 After being on the phone with the Tall South African for much of the day (as opposed to every other day, I know), we agreed that he would come down in the evening and join me at the Lansdowne for drinks later on.  I'd already promised Piers the night before that I would meet him there, and then my dear friend, The Blonde, also asked if she could join.  (A friend has pointed out that I should stop using names wherever possible in this blog, so let's try out that one).  

I finally made it out at 7 PM, and joined The Blonde, Piers, and two others outside on the patio, where we basically just chatted and caught up on things here and there.  We ordered dinner and had a few drinks, and then when it was getting chilly outside, moved inside.  

As we were finding seats to sit down at, I suddenly noticed a familiar profile with his back to me.  It would have looked quite foolish if it hadn't been him, but I always seem to know, so I came up behind him and enveloped the Young Dutchman in a hug.  I'm always just so happy to see him.  

I then left him to finish his conversation, and instead moved back to join the crowd.  We were joined by an older guy who bought a bottle of champagne and shared it with everyone, which I thought was quite nice of him, although I was surprised when The Blonde then pulled me aside and said, "He's quite cute, don't you think?"  Ummm....not exactly.  Which rather concerned me, as on a lark recently I let The Blonde take over my online dating profile to write to men on my behalf.  She promised to only go for cute guys that I would find attractive, but if this was her standard of cute, then we might have a problem here.

As it turned out, my impressions of the guy turned out to be spot on when he started talking about what a Mitt Romney supporter he was.  I'm sorry but even if I had found him to be attractive, that would have undone it.  There is absolutely no way I could stand dating a Republican.  It's almost more repulsive than smoking.  

In the library

The Young Dutchman came back and joined us, and we got into a slight argument about how he was sure he'd told me about how we were having dinner in Oxford on Saturday, but I am quite sure that he never mentioned any such thing to me.  I wonder if that is part of our problem lately, as I miss him and feel like I never get to talk to him, but maybe he doesn't feel the same because he *thinks* he's talking to me but forgets he's had these conversations only in his head.  Luckily I still happened to be free for dinner on Saturday, so it was all fine, but it did annoy me.  I mean, I adore that boy, but I can't read his mind.

The Tall South African then arrived, but I didn't even get a chance to say hello to him, as The Blonde jumped up to say hello, and I just left her to it.  The two of them seem to have sort of reached an understanding as of late where they are sort of dating, and so of course The Blonde was keen to see her new "boyfriend."

I say "sort of", because the Tall South African is a more typical male: Wants to sleep with her, but not quite ready to jump headlong into a relationship, while she is.  Still, I figure it's for the two of them to sort out, and she was enjoying seeing him (it makes her happy to see him), so I left them to it.  Plus, the Young Dutchman had just informed me of some very interesting news:  Kellogg Boy and Canadian Balliol Guy were about to arrive!  I tried to keep myself from getting too excited, but I have to admit my ears perked up when I heard that Canadian Balliol Guy would be there.  

Indeed, after a bit, they both showed up, and just like The Blonde had hopped up to go talk to the Tall South African when he arrived, I jumped up to greet Kellogg Boy and Canadian Balliol Guy.  I was happy to see them.  

I was also happy to find that Canadian Balliol Guy was continuing his usual pattern of always catching my eye for the shared little inside jokes, just between the two of us.  And when the guys started teasing him about other girls, he caught my eye in an embarrassed and apologetic glance, as if to say, "I'm mortified that the guys are talking about this in front of you, and you know I'm not that bad, right?"

Apparently he had hooked up with a girl two weeks ago however, which is why the boys were harping on it, as apparently both the Young Dutchman and Kellogg Boy were taking a bit of umbrage that Canadian Balliol Guy had been having sex more recently than either of them, particularly given that prior to this, it had been about six months for Canadian Balliol Guy.  The Young Dutchman was particularly upset about his two-week dry spell, which is about the longest he's ever gone.

All of this just made me laugh, and with our shared glance I wanted to reassure Canadian Balliol Guy, "Don't worry, I still like you, but we're not dating, so why should I be at all upset about your other activities?"  Because the truth is, I'm pretty sure at this point that Canadian Balliol Guy likes me, at least on some level.  Yet he's not exactly looking for a girlfriend right now.  I mean, he's living with a friend, and then even had to get kicked out of the friend's place when Kellogg Boy's mother came to visit.  Still hasn't figured out what he's doing for a job, and is just entirely unsettled.  In fact, much like Qatari Boy (although hopefully without the crippling depression).  What is it about me that makes me go for unemployed guys sleeping on friends' couches?  Still, I like Canadian Balliol Guy, and was just happy to see him.  

Explaining a poem

I also was pleasantly surprised when a young French Texan showed up, who I had invited at the Tall South African's urging.  It was good to see him, and I was glad he showed up, if only because I know the Tall South African had wanted to catch up with him.  Although I was a bit surprised when out of nowhere he told me, "Your hair is looking really nice tonight."  You have to understand, he's not the type of individual to ever give compliments, much less to me.  I was even more surprised when both The Blonde and the Tall South African told me later, "You were looking amazing, you were getting lots of attention."  Yet I didn't notice any of it.  Was I truly that oblivious, or where was this attention coming from?  

Now, after all this socialising, I had originally been supposed to go to the birthday drinks of a friend happening nearby.  Yet, it was now nearly 10:30 PM and I still hadn't gone, so when the Young Dutchman said that he was going to pop over, I said I would go too, intending to pop out for just a few minutes so I would get credit for making an appearance.  I was so determined it was going to be a quick visit in fact, that I neglected to bring my coat with me.  

This turned out to not be the best idea, when it turned out that the bar was now charging cover for entry, and we couldn't get in.  The Young Dutchman then decided that we should all head to the Carlton Club for drinks.  I was going to run back to get my coat, but Kellogg Boy encouraged me to come along anyway, and wrapped me up tightly against him, keeping me warm for the walk.  I was still brutally cold and shivering, but at least managed to survive the walk with him.

Clueless and playing chess

When we got to the Carlton, we were fully inside and about to take our seats by the fire, when the club staff informed us that the bar was closed for the evening (and it wasn't even 11 PM!)  So, on to my club, perhaps?  I was quite glad that it turned out that my club was still open, and I got us a bottle of the club port.  We retired upstairs to the North Library and took turns playing chess.  Well, at least the boys did, turns out I have no idea how to play chess, and I have to admit I used other distraction techniques to avoid having to admit that I had no idea how to play.  I know, for a clever girl, it seems to be one of those things I should know, but simply have never learned.  I should learn some day...

As we were sitting there, Kellogg Boy put an arm around me, and I snuggled up into him, just relaxing and enjoying the banter and company, as we talked about which books we were most like, (I chose "War and Peace", a book that everyone claims to like, but find so intimidating they've never read it).  You could tell that Kellogg Boy had been a while without female company, given how snuggly and touchy-feely he was being.  He never means anything by it though, so I just relaxed to enjoy.  

The Young Dutchman however, was feeling a bit left out, and so started playing his usual game of "gay chicken" with Kellogg Boy, putting a hand on his knee and tickling him.  The two of them have such a "bromance" going on, that does seem startlingly romantic at times.  So I got up and moved to the opposite couch, sitting next to Canadian Balliol Guy.  Who did not even seem to acknowledge me until Kellogg Boy cajoled him into putting an arm around me and me teasing him to show some love.  I enjoyed that though, just leaning against his side, feeling the rise and fall of his chest, as we sat there giggling and telling stories.  It just felt very...comfortable.  

Hence, I was sad when the Young Dutchman broke up the party by suggesting we all move to the South Library, where there was a fire going in the fireplace.  I'd been enjoying being curled up with Canadian Balliol Guy, but I almost wondered in a weird way if that was exactly what the Young Dutchman was trying to break up.  It must have been my imagination, or was it?

So we retired to the South Library, where for some reason the Young Dutchman started reading passages aloud from books, which made me think that we needed to be reading proper poetry.  So I went back into the North Library (knowing that's where all the literature books are), and pulled out a few books of poetry, which I brought back into the South Library, and everyone began reading and occasionally reading passages aloud.  I enjoyed it when Candian Balliol Guy read, as he had a lovely deep timbre to his voice as he read, whereas the Young Dutchman always lapsed into his fake posh accent.  

But the thing that really slayed me, was when Canadian Balliol Guy, unprompted, turned out to be a fan of Robert Frost, my favourite poet.  I love it when that sort of thing happens, where you discover something about somebody you already liked, that you like too.  Just makes you convinced that perhaps there's some magic there.  

Yet, in practically the same breath, I took pause when Kellogg Boy made a crack implying that Canadian Balliol Guy was a Republican.  Now, I wasn't too keen on Canadian Balliol Guy when I first met him because he smoked, but then he quit.  So it was all okay, and that's when I first took notice of him, when I learned he'd quit.  But Republicanism?  That's a much worse offence than smoking...not sure about that one!  Let's just hope it was a joke, much like when Kellogg Boy was implying that Candian Balliol Guy didn't last that long in bed either.  I hope, anyway...

When I noticed that Canadian Balliol Guy had disappeared for a bit, I found him in the North Library, looking at more poems.  So I followed him in there, and we had fun pulling books off the shelves and reading poems to each other, just once again enjoying a bit of fun and alone time, just the two of us, how we often disappear from the crowds together.  Even when we are alone though, he never makes a move, so who knows how he actually feels then?  

Reading in the South Library

Kellogg Boy had then taken to writing poems for everyone, which he gave to us in sealed envelopes, saying we could read them later.  Canadian Balliol Guy wrote something on a scrap of light-blue headed paper, which led to quite a bit of teasing as he couldn't seem to figure out what he'd done wrong (even though he was in the midst of an entire crowd of Oxford people).  Canadian Balliol Guy then took to writing a poem on his own, which was quite frankly terrible (I decided to title it "Ghosts of Time", since he'd been unable to come up with his own title), but it was just so funny as we kept joking and talking and reading aloud.  One of those absolutely fantastic evenings that you sort of wish would last forever, simply because you're having so much fun.  

Finally however, it was 3 AM, and we figured it was time to head home.  Canadian Balliol Guy went off to Trafalgar Square to catch a night bus up to Chalk Farm, Kellogg Boy and Painfully Shy Guy (who had been with us this whole time) and I walked back up to Green Park, with Painfully Shy Guy graciously lending me his coat for the walk (I was sooooooo cold!), and then finally the two of them going off together while the Young Dutchman walked me back to the Lansdowne, where I was able to knock on the door and retrieve my winter coat.  Oh, how lovely it felt to finally be warm again!  

The Young Dutchman walked me back as far as his place, and then made me promise to text him my whole way home.  I finally got home at around 3:30 AM, texted the Young Dutchman to say I was home safely, and upon spotting Qatari Boy online, decided to chat with him for a bit.  Kind of just assuring him that I wasn't mad at him (given that we hadn't spoken all week), and laying some groundwork so that it wouldn't be awkward if I saw him at the party the next day.  Yet, by 4 AM I was way too sleepy, so I signed off with him.  

Mostly though, it was a good evening having some catch-up time with the Young Dutchman.  Goodness, how I have missed him..