Coming Clean At Last

In the morning, I woke up to call my gym to sign up for yoga class, and then went back to bed.  (Hey, I'd been out quite late the night before!)  Then given that the class started at noon, I figured I'd actually better get up and go!

Class was good, and I appreciated the opportunity for a good stretch.  Although when I checked my phone as I got out of class, I saw I had a text from the Tall South African saying, "Call me when you get out of class."  So I called him, and he expressed some disappointment that I hadn't called sooner, until I explained that the Sunday class was 1.5 hours, not just an hour.  Which seemed to mollify him, although then gave me no time to go home and change, as he wanted to know if I could meet him at Knightsbridge in 20 minutes.  

(This is how you know our relationship is truly platonic.  I hadn't showered yet this morning, wasn't wearing any make-up, and was in sweaty gym kit, but still agreed to go out and meet him directly.  With any other boy, I wouldn't dare show up looking so ragged!)

We met in Knightsbridge and then debated about where to go, checking out one pub and then another, before deciding to walk all of the way to Gloucester Road to go to a burger place we like.  Along the way, he talked to me about The Blonde's efforts to set me up on online dates, and saying how he would do such a better job of it if he were in charge of it.  

We had a lovely lunch, complete with stellar milkshakes, which I convinced him to get.  Funny, because although my head had been fine, he was apparently suffering a bit after last night's partying.  Yet those milkshakes cleared it all right up.  

We talked a bit about his fledgling relationship with The Blonde, and I was a bit horrified when he decided to demonstrate how devoted to him she was.  He picked up his phone and called her, making noises about how maybe he wouldn't see her again this evening, given that she had plans to go out that night anyway.  Instantly, she offered to cancel everything and come right back home to see him.  I was stunned, and sort of felt like throttling The Blonde.  What on earth was up with that?

Indeed, when I pointed out that he'd originally said he was going to go home the night before, he told me, "Oh, it wasn't her who convinced me to stay at all, it was YOU.  You have to realise, I don't do anything because of what she says.  You're the only girl who has that kind of influence over me."  Kind of a surprise, really.

Then we left the restaurant and did some grocery shopping (as I had no food at home), while he trailed me around the supermarket.  Had a good laugh when one of the store clerks couldn't reach something on a high shelf and asked the Tall South African, "Sir, would you mind helping me?"  It was hilarious, as the thing that had been totally out of her reach even if she jumped for it, he just calmly reached up and picked off the shelf right in front of him.  I joked, "You ARE useful for something!"  He is tall, after all...

We then caught a bus back to my place, where he spent the entire ride talking through his guilt about dating two girls at once.  Feeling like he was treating them badly.  I really didn't know what to say to him, as I truly don't know what the answer is, other that to break up with both of them and be miserable and alone by oneself.  

We came back to mine, where I made him some coffee, and then set him up on my sofa with a laptop to watch some television while I went and took a shower (as I had to go out for dinner that evening).  He truly seemed to enjoy himself, and I really just had a good time post-shower, combing my hair, hanging out with him, watching silly videos and sharing jokes.  As he put it before, sometimes the two of us just need time to hang out, just the two of us, one-on-one.  

Finally however, I had to leave to go to my dinner, and he had to go home.  So we took the Tube together, and we said our good-byes along the way.  Good to see him, because I'll miss him during the week ahead.  

Yummy dessert photo

I arrived at the restaurant, which turned out to be a much more high-end place than I had anticipated, and instantly made me wish I had re-thought my outfit.  Nothing to be done about it however, so I gave the name of the girl who had made the reservation, and went and joined her, while we waited for my Irish friend.

The night before, when I'd seen the two of them together, I'd wondered a bit about their relationship, but all was cleared up when one of the first things my Irish friend did during dinner was to announce, "Well, with turning 30, I've really had an opportunity to take stock of my life and who I really am, and I think it's time I start coming to terms with living as a gay man."

Now, I had long suspected that this friend was gay, but the only thing that held me back from outright declaring it was the fact that I have terrible gaydar (I miss it often), and what kind of guy doesn't know by the time he's 30 that he's gay?  But it was funny to me, how much of a relief it was for ME to finally have that one out there.  As for so many years, I felt like I couldn't truly be friends with him, because he wasn't being totally open and honest with me.  I'm so grateful that he felt he could tell me, and now I feel like our friendship is stronger than ever, now that he's being honest with himself and with me.  

My rose petal lychee cocktail at dinner was so pretty I had to take a photo of it.

We then started chatting about dating and meeting people, it made me grateful for the fact that at least, as much difficulty as I have with figuring out what boys want and who is attracted to me, I'm still at least dealing with 90% of them going my way.  How difficult it must be to be gay, dealing with all the usual nonsense of relationships, as well as then the additional hurdles of societal acceptance and just figuring out which of the 10% you can date!  

I then also learned about the girl, who had just broken up with her fiancée at Christmas and was getting back on the dating scene.  Goodness, everyone else's complicated dating lives sort of make me appreciate my tremendously boring one!  

Finally, we parted ways and I headed home, glad that even while I wish more interesting things happened in my dating life, sometimes at least it's quite straightforward!