In the morning, we woke up to glorious sunshine. I was up before anybody else, so I showered and got dressed, and packed up the air mattress. Checked my e-mail and found one from my cousin that said he was “researching ring design without trying to be too obvious. This means Brendan wins all Panama bets.” It took a moment to realise what he was saying, that he planned on proposing to his girlfriend! How wonderful is that?
Nikola, Jenn and I then sat down and had breakfast, where they teased me about having brought my own Diet Coke in place of coffee. I must admit, in their household filled with fresh veggies and organic everything, it did seem a bit out of place!
Then everybody got going, and since Nikola had to do some rowing and Jenn had to work, I was left on my own. I then wandered around Oxford for a bit, catching the graduates as they were coming out of the Sheldonian, but mostly just walking around. I ended up walking around where my ex had lived, and where I’d visited him in Oxford a number of times after we broke up. I found myself getting a bit morose, watching all of these happy couples, lying out on the banks of the river, and just thinking about how nice it would be to be in a relationship again.
I think it’s my classic extroversion however, that I am just terrible when left on my own. Hence, I was relieved when before I could continue my downward spiral (such a waste on a sunny day!) Nikola called, that he and Zhan were back from rowing. Thank goodness, the company of my friends again!
I joined them only briefly, picking up my bags at Nikola’s place, and then heading down to the Head of the River to meet the recent graduates. It was great seeing a lot of people I hadn’t seen in a while, and joining the group in their silly gowns and outfits. I picked up sandwiches from my favourite old sandwich shop from my student days, and just relived the memories for a bit. I couldn’t stay long enough however, as I’d promised my old flatmate from my Cambridge days that I would come to her housewarming party that night. In Cambridge.
Which meant, I had to face down the dreaded X5 again. When I’d been in Oxford, I spent much of the year dating a young man in Cambridge, and spent a ridiculous amount of my time riding that miserable bus back and forth between Oxford and Cambridge. After the relationship broke up, I’d sworn never to ride the X5 again, but needing to get directly between the two places this afternoon, I didn’t really have a better option.
The X5 had changed since my student days, with leather seats, A/C, power outlets and even Wi-Fi on board. Yet, riding the X5, even with the Wi-Fi and an interesting book to read, I was reminded of a few key things: The journey was LONG, taking about 3.5 hours. And it was hard, with constant starts, stops, and endless roundabouts that had me feeling absolutely queasy. I was definitely watching the clock on the bus, counting down how much longer I had to survive the journey.
And then all of a sudden, it made me angry. To think of how many times I'd undergone that trip for my ex. How many weekends I'd spent seven hours on a bus, surviving that marathon hell of a journey. And then realising that he never even did it ONCE.
And so it was a good thing, after spending the morning kind of missing what we once had and thinking about him there in Oxford, to suddenly be reminded of how much I sacrificed and how little I got in return. They say you shouldn't stay angry, but in some ways I think I need to hold onto that anger and remember it whenever I'm feeling weak or morose. Bastard. I can't believe he put me through that.
At last the bus made it to Cambridge, dropping me off at Parker’s Piece, instead of the usual Drummond Street bus station. Which was good as the walk wasn’t too long down to my friend Caragh’s place. I didn’t know most of the people, but I spotted my old friend Simon, and had a great time chatting and catching up with him, as well as Caragh.
I’d originally intended to catch the last train from Cambridge back to London, but when I went to Caragh to make my good-byes, she protested that she’d barely gotten a chance to talk to me, and persuaded me to stay overnight. Given that I did have all of my overnight gear with me due to my recent stay in Oxford, I was easily persuaded.
Hence, I then stayed up talking with Simon and Caragh and some of the other guests until 3 AM. It was a good party, although definitely at the end I wanted people to go home so I could get some sleep! I did end up chatting to a VERY drunk guy who was amusing from the perspective of how many inappropriate things he could say in the space of a few minutes. (“Are you married? You’re not? I can totally set you up with some men in London. And they are verrrrrry rich!”) Given that as usual, after my pattern of having a few beers, I was switching back to water, the sober-vs-drunk contrast was all that much more pronounced.
Mostly, it was really great to see Caragh and Simon again. I suppose with your oldest friends, there is the pleasure of finding out that across the years and sometimes not staying in touch as well as you should, that you still have a connection and are good friends through it all. Hence, although that X5 journey was absolutely miserable, I’m glad I did it one more time to make it back to Cambridge.
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