Dinner with Tim

Even though it was the day after the HR Christmas party, I was getting cold hanging out at home, so I decided to go into the office. Any worries I might have had about not getting a desk were definitely for nought, as when I arrived, there was absolutely nobody there! Hence I had my pick of desks for the day...

Admittedly, later in the day some guy came and sat down a few desks away from me, and after I was having problems on my computer, I stupidly locked myself out of it after I failed to remember my personnel number. So I had to call tech support and repeat my name several times loudly during the course of conversation with the technologist in India. Then afterwards, the one other guy in the office came over and introduced himself as being a part of the Capability Development team, and that he'd seen my name on the org charts, and so when he heard me say my name, had decided to come over and introduce himself. How neat, eh?

I then had to rush a bit to make it to my club to meet Tim for dinner, but found at 6:50 PM (we'd said we'd meet between 6:30-7) that he still had yet to arrive. Luckily I wasn't waiting for too long before he got there, so I took him on a tour of the club, and then we got a table for dinner.

I have to admit, I was really quite exhausted after the festivities of the night before, so I don't remember all that much of the dinner or the conversation, except that Tim told me Nikola's old girlfriend had gome out of the closet as a lesbian. Wow, that one must be a shocker! I always sort of wonder if people who have been in straight relationships sort of know at the time that they actually prefer something else, or if it's truly just a sudden discovery like that. Still, whatever the case may be, I'm guessing that it must be quite a surprise for Nikola, if he knows...

Tim then also started ranting about how dissappointed he was in some people after they discovered the truth of what happened with Kurt Mitman, a guy who used to be at Balliol with us on a Marshall scholarship, but who had suddenly departed mid-year with no explanation. As it turns out, he'd had to leave Oxford to go to the US and serve a 2.5 year prison sentence for statuatory rape. And Tim was upset that so many friends, upon learning the truth, had abandon Kurt, deciding to no longer be associated with him. He asked, "If I made just one mistake, would all of my friends abandon me too?"

Yet, as I got home and read about the case on Google, I have to say that there are minor mistakes in life, and then there are Mistakes, with a capital "M". Apparently Kurt met his victim at a summer camp for gifted students where Kurt was a counsellor, and the victim was only a 14-year old boy. (Oh yes, the fact that it was gay sex probably didn't help his case any). And that's sort of the thing that bothers me about it all, for a 14-year old boy who is probably grappling with his sexuality really just doesn't have the mental maturity to really consent to sex with a 22-year old man. That's why statuatory rape laws exist, and that's why anyone with character and morals, even if the young boy initiates things, says, "I can't do this. This is wrong." To actually go through with it shows a stunning lack of judgement, and a moral character that is just disturbing. Sure, perhaps it was a one-time mistake that he now deeply regrets, but you sort of wonder about the moral judgement that allowed you to get into that situation in the first place.

Anyway, while normally I stay out at the club until nearly midnight, although in this instance it wasn't even 10 PM, I was just too tired and bored by the conversation to stay out late, so even though I got the feeling that Tim could have stayed later, I decided to head home. It was just time to head to bed, really...