This evening I had agreed to meet The Blonde for some catch-up drinks, as the two of us always try to catch up at events, but yet there are so many people who know us, that we are never able to properly talk, just the two of us. So we'd agreed to go to the club to have a quiet drink with just the two of us, and perhaps join people later on.
We tried not to talk much about the Tall South African, as I really do try to keep a wall between the two of them as I maintain my friendships with both. Although she surprised me by telling me that she was sleeping with The Chap again. Apparently they had been sleeping together before she got together with the Tall South African, and The Chap had actually asked her out. Except then of course things took off with the Tall South African, she turned him down, and they stopped sleeping together once she got together with the Tall South African.
Except now they were sleeping together again, and she'd actually broached the subject with The Chap of potentially dating now that things were over with the Tall South African. That must have been the wrong thing to say, as The Chap had responded by going off and sleeping with other people (while still yet sleeping with her). And what boggled my mind is that while she'd gotten upset about it, she was apparently still sleeping with him, just upset that they weren't exclusive.
I was totally dumbfounded by all of this, as while I could potentially understand sleeping with a guy you're not in a relationship with (let's face it, we've all done it despite our pride telling us not to), I just can't imagine ever sleeping with a guy once I knew he was sleeping with somebody else. I mean I would lose all interest instantly.
Plus, I just feel I would have too much pride to regularly sleep with a guy who only called me late at night saying, "Why don't you come over?" And who was just so cavalier with my emotions. I don't know, as while I haven't been dating all of the guys I've slept with, I have always been a pretty reasonable judge of character, and have only gone for the guys who have treated me well. Or at least when I've been wrong, I've cut them out pretty quickly. Letting this go on when it's obviously troubling to her? Why does she let him be so cruel and careless with her emotions? And who on earth needs to sleep with someone that badly that you would let them be so mean to you?
Although it's not like this is the first indication I've had that The Blonde suffers from painful insecurity. The other surprising thing she told me was that she's been saving up for a boob job. Which just struck me as bizarre on several levels because:
1) If you need to save up for something like that, doesn't the fact that you lack the cash on hand imply that perhaps you should have more savings in general? She indicated that she needed about £5,000-£6,000, but only had about £2,000 saved at the moment. Which given that The Blonde is only a few years younger than I am, I was stunned that she had so little saved. I had at least ten times that amount saved by her age!
2) Why would you do that to yourself? Have unnecessary surgery like that? I was terrified of having surgery for my knee when it was absolutely necessary, the idea of cutting into yourself for purely cosmetic reasons is totally bizarre to me.
Anyway, I was so surprised, I didn't know quite what to say besides smile and nod. Perhaps being so well-endowed myself, I just don't understand the insecurity that comes with having a smaller chest, but it just seems like a ridiculous thing to want.
So I was almost beyond raising my eyebrows when she was saying how there is an older, wealthy investor who has been interested in investing in her business, but has also been seeming to make their "business dinners" into more of dates. Which has been annoying her, but almost then making her wonder if she could potentially manage to date him for a while and get him to pay for it, as it wouldn't be at all expensive for him. I guess sometimes as much as I like The Blonde and enjoy her company, I just truly don't understand where she is coming from.
As long as we were being so confessional however, when she pressed me on it, I told her everything about Roofie's Brother. About always just seeing him as a friend until after the beerpong tournament, and being so confused, and about how Joel made me tremendously insecure about him with his casual comments. And about trying to be patient to let things develop naturally, yet really wishing something would more properly happen. About worrying that nothing ever will, and we'll just end up in the friend-zone like happens with so many other guys.
Although I dislike talking to people about my romantic life, it was somewhat of a relief to tell someone who knows the boy in question. It was interesting because she seemed to have never even noticed him, and yet upon realising what was going on here, seemed to be surprised at how it might actually make quite a bit of sense.
She just advised what I already knew, that trying to press him into anything would make him run a mile, that I simply needed to be reassuring, give him opportunities, and try to simply spend more time with him. He's actually quite nervous and shy, and putting too much pressure on him will make him bolt. I feel like I'm dealing with some of the horses I train here. I only wish I was actually better at training horses!
We were talking about other nonsense, finishing our drinks and perhaps becoming ready to join some of the crowds at the Lansdowne, when a young-ish chap approached the table. Apparently it was the young man she'd been talking to in reception when I'd been running late. He'd just finished dinner with his companion, who was a member of the club, and they came and joined us for their post-dinner port.
As often happens when two men approach two women, you seem to get paired off. I found myself with the member, a chap who was an intestinal surgeon. Although they only could have possibly been a few years older than us, if not just the same age, I always find it rather amazing that people my age are doctors, entrusted with cutting people open.
I found it interesting that The Blonde chose to ask him about if he'd recommend any plastic surgeons, although when she mentioned it was because "a friend was thinking about getting a boob job", the revulsion with which both men reacted to the idea I hope made some impact. The surgeon had nothing but nasty things to say about the hacks who perform breast augmentation surgery, and the military guy who was paired off with her just seemed to find the notion of fake breasts distasteful. I just hope that made a bit of an impact.
We then had a hilarious conversation about the strangest things the surgeon had ever found stuffed up people's bums (quite a bit, as it turns out), and we got into a hilarious game of The Blonde and the military guy switching shoes with each other, and then the surgeon managed to hide The Blonde's shoe in plain sight for a pretty fun game. Perhaps not entirely appropriate for the club, but it was past midnight and we were just having fun goofing around in the bar.
Finally at around 1 AM, after we'd missed all trains and any hope of going anywhere else, it was time to go home. Bizarrely, the military man accompanied me and The Blonde out, while the surgeon bid us his goodnights in the hallway and then returned to the bar (I guess to talk to the few people still there?) Tried not to take it personally that he seemed to be avoiding having to exit with me, as I thought I'd done a decent job at providing charming conversation while his friend hit on The Blonde, but perhaps not.
I got to the night bus stop and bid The Blonde and the military guy farewell, jumping on the excuse to give them an opportunity to catch up by themselves. She later told me that they caught a taxi back to Clapham together (as they both live in that part of town), ended up making out in the cab, and then the guy told her that he was engaged. Yikes.
Which of course, thank goodness, at least made her quite firmly turn down his invitation to join him back at his place, although left her texting me late at night wondering what on earth is wrong with men these days. Funny enough, I hadn't gotten a very good vibe from the guy, and so it was kind of a relief to be proven right. Perhaps I'm not so bothered either then about his surgeon friend's lack of interest. In the end, they were entertaining company and bought us a number of free drinks, so I suppose one can't be too upset. But how bizarre, eh?
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