Carlton Drinks

You know how sometimes you just need a German word to express what you mean?  After all, where would we be without schadenfreude, gemutlichkeit, or any of those words for which there is no English equivalent?  I really feel like there needs to be a German word (and maybe there is) for, "the discomfort of finding that you have gained entree and acceptance into an exclusive circle or group from which others are excluded."

This evening, I had been invited to drinks at the Carlton Club by this guy I had met some time ago, who always strikes me as being the most interesting of contradictions.  He's a suit-wearing lawyer, a member of one of the most prestigious and conservative clubs in London, while yet equally being the type who is really into hip-hop music and organising "rap battle" nights (a la Eminem in "8 Mile") in East London.

I don't get to see him that frequently, but I'm always pleasantly surprised at how he contacts me on Facebook quite often just to chat, saying that I'm one of the few "cool and interesting" people that he knows.  Hence, the invite for drinks was somewhat of a surprise, but then again, almost everything is with him.

When I got to the club, they're quite strict about having guests on the list to get in, and I discovered that he hadn't put me on it, although the guy at the front desk was very gracious about letting me go in and point out the guy I was meeting.

When I got in, the Carlton Rapper Guy greeted me enthusiastically, and immediately introduced me to other people there.  I knew one guy through my running club, although the others were all new faces.  Still, it was a good mix of an evening, talking to people and just having random and interesting conversations.

I even exclaimed at one point upon meeting a guy, "You're wearing a Balliol tie!"  I was then quite embarrassed to start a conversation so gauchely, but I still thought it was kind of cool to make that connection, and was the first time I've ever started a conversation with someone entirely based on their tie.  We actually connected again later, and it turned out to be quite a fortuitous meeting as I was able to advise him on travels in Latin America.  And here I'd thought that nobody really did networking based on old school ties like that...

I didn't get to talk to Carlton Rapper Guy as much as I'd like, but I still did have a good time talking to him about his upcoming travels to Texas, Louisianna, Tenessee and Duke (North Carolina).  I was also surprised beyond belief when he was able to relate to others there the exact story of how we had met, at a sherry tasting, and remembering details of the evening and me that even I had forgotten.  Now of course, I remembered the story because I'm a girl and I remember things like that, but for a boy, this was quite a surprise.  I wonder if our meeting made as much of an impact on him as it did on me.

Yet, I still got no impression from him that he had any romantic interest in me, just a real enthusiasm for my conversation and company.  I was laughing with The Blonde later about this, "Why do so many men like me for my brain and not my body?"

I have to admit, I think he's rather cute, but as I stood next to him, I found myself slouching a bit in my heels, as he's only my same height or a little shorter, if we're honest.

He also told stories about how he was organising a pub crawl the weekend after to an East London nightclub that even he was a bit scared to go to, and firmly said to me, "No, you are NOT allowed to come!"  I laughed at this, even as I took his point.  He might invite me to some random events occasionally, but even I know when I'm not street smart enough to go places.  I'm too much the lily-white, West London and Mayfair girl to really survive in some of the East London haunts he frequents.

On the whole, I had a really great evening, and was a bit disappointed when he left right before 10 PM, leaving me to stay and make conversation with the people remaining on my own.  Which is where I learned that the entire point of the evening had been that everyone had needed to bring a "cool, interesting person with social skills" to the gathering, which is how I'd made the cut.  Back to the point at the start of the entry, about how it was nice to have made this cut, and explained why I'd had such an enjoyable time talking to everyone I'd met.  No awkward, shy people were allowed.  And yet...  I just hate the idea of being so blatantly exclusionary, all of the cool kids getting together and deciding who is cool enough to be part of the group, and who is not.  I left feeling very conflicted about it all, even as I had to admit I'd suffered through more than my fair share of tedious evenings with dull and boring people, and could see why this group went to the extra effort to avoid them.  What a strange reason to gather a group together, with the express purpose of avoiding boring people.

Shortly after the Carlton Rapper Boy left, I could see no reason to stay further myself, on a school night, so I made my excuses to all those remaining and headed home.  An enjoyable evening, although I truly do hope I get to see Carlton Rapper Boy a bit more in the future.  Even if he has no romantic interest in me, I have to admit I'm never bored when talking to him.