I made my way out to Canary Wharf, and he arrived a little bit after I did. At first, it was a bit awkward, as we were being greeted by other people, and didn't want to rush up to each other, and just not sure of where we were at with each other. It was a tight space and hard to maneuver among the crowds, and I didn't want to draw attention to how badly I wanted to see him. It was funny, as when he made his way to my side eventually, I thought to myself, "Ah yes, this is part of what I find so adorable about you, the fact that you're so darn nervous talking to women." All women perhaps, but me in particular. For such a good-looking guy, it's surprising, but undeniably true.
We chatted for a while, but it was distinctly awkward as he was nervous and we weren't quite sure what to say, until it was time to go out and start the run. Good run, we got separated in the pack, but he's always been a faster runner than I am, so that wasn't a surprise.
I got back to the pub an hour later, and ran into my friend Mr. Moore, middle-aged married guy with kids who went to Magdalene, and who I've always taken to for unknown reasons. I dunno, I just like him.
Upon seeing me, he was delighted to catch up, and so got me a drink. And so I was in conversation with this guy when Roofie's Brother returned, planting a very sweaty kiss on my forehead and saying, "I've been looking all over for you!"
So I got into conversation with him while trying to also catch up with Mr Moore, doing the usual balance of divided attentions Then Roofie's Brother bought me a drink, and we just chatted for a while while I did my best job of being witty, clever, and funny and trying to make him feel at ease. Normally I'm so used to being with the Young Dutchmans of the world, the guys who know how to do good chat and banter, and admire my equal skill at keeping up with them, that it's a much different game to lead along the nervous little puppy dog. It's one of those circumstances where I know I can make him laugh, and he really cracks up at my wit, but then you can practically see him panic as he tries to come up with something clever in return. Yet at least I did make a point of constantly just looking into his eyes, as I know from my days as a psych student that this can reassure people, and help them feel like they have a bond with you. Plus, I just like his eyes, as they're always what one would describe as "merry", looking like he's always just a second away from laughing. It's truly one of the most attractive things about him.
Then it was time to go outside for the circle, and we got separated again. I hadn't had a chance to grab a coat before I went outside, so I was freezing, and therefore too gratefully snuggled into my friend Devo who wrapped me up in his arms to keep my shivering self warm. Now Devo is married, so although I was wrapped up in his arms like a very close girlfriend, it meant absolutely nothing. Devo has just always liked me (perhaps because we're both from New York?) and always watches out for me, and so I don't even thought about anything other than the fact that I was cold and he could make me warm. Except again I was suddenly aware of the fact that I might be too flirty with other random guys. How on earth was Roofie's Brother supposed to know that I like him, when here I'm cuddling up to other guys? As there was the guy I like, and instead I was wrapped up in the arms of another. Yet damn, I was COLD!!
At the end of the circle, I got a nice surprise when the girls who set the run presented me with a litre of coconut water, just as a prize for running with one of them as she had to re-set the trail. At this point, I was huddled up behind Devo, who had wrapped his arms around me from the back, so I had to pop out from behind him to accept my "prize". Rather cute!
Once we were back inside, I got another round of drinks for myself and Roofie's Brother (I owed him one anyway), and we chatted together and as part of the group variably throughout the evening, until his brother (who he lives with) and a few others were leaving, so I put my drink down and left with them. Not like I really needed any more beer…
So the whole group walked back to the Tube, and the two of us walked together, finding excuses to constantly be bumping into each other and be a little bit too close. Rode down the escalator together and I just slipped my hands under his arms, which he then held tight against his body, holding my hands in close. When we reversed positions on the next escalator however, he did not do the same. I wondered about it, but I think on the whole it's more that he's just too nervous about being too forward. At least I hope so, and I'm not just misinterpreting this whole thing.
On the train, as the crowd sat down, we ended up not next to each other, but I instead found myself sitting with Roofie himself. I like Roofie, who is a fun guy, although much more like the Young Dutchman, in that super-outgoing-and-forward manner. But when it came time for him and his brother to get off at their stop, Roofie's Brother was saying goodbye to everyone, and then with me just paused and we gave each other a quick kiss on the lips. Nothing more dramatic than your average Italian family does, and I'm sure those who weren't paying attention thought we were just kissing on the cheek. But I felt like it was our last little reassurance to each other, "Yeah, I like you."
Yet, I can tell he is so very unsure of me. As I am of him. And yet this is how all relationships start, with that dodge and weave and dance as you don't want to be the first one to make a move, to expose yourself and lay everything bare. Yet how much simpler would it be if we could! Alas, we'll just have to wait and see what happens next...
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