Epic Magdalene Night Out

Fan #1 and Fan #2

This evening I was due to attend the Farewell Drinks to the Master, which Tristan had organised.  After ten years in the post (longer than usual), the Master was stepping down.  In January the former Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, will take up the post.  Which I realise is probably good for Magdalene's profile to have a former Archbishop of Canterbury as Master, but I doubt anyone could ever be quite as good as Duncan Robinson...

I got to the drinks reception 15 minutes late, but quickly got into the swing of things, saying hello to familiar faces while trying my best to avoid getting caught up in conversation with any one individual.  Problems of going out with a crowd of super-nerdy types like this one, far too often people don't know how to socialise, and you can get trapped in a corner all evening with someone who doesn't know how to branch out and talk to others.  So I was like a hummingbird, flitting from here to there as I made my way around the room.

This strategy proved to be the right one, when at the reception table, I saw two of my favourite people arrive.  It was Fan #1 and Fan #2!!!  I hadn't seen them in nearly a year (I think?), and so was beyond delighted to see them.  It is our funny way about us, that we only ever see each other at events like these, but always have such fun when we do.

I came up behind Fan #2, clapped a hand on his shoulder and said, "Excuse me sir, I think we're going to have to ask you to leave..." which made him turn around in confusion, and then just exclaim with delight upon seeing me.  And there's really something about friends like that, who you are so happy to see, and who you know feel the same way about you.  Not just, "It's nice to see you", but "It's GREAT to see you!"  My evening was now made.

So we settled into conversation as we always do, occasionally dragged into conversation with other people, but it really being just the three of us.  Tristan gave a great speech, the perfect blend of humour and grace, just being so wonderful at it as he always is.  He made the crowd laugh and chuckle, and reminded everyone of all the things they like so much about the Master.  We then listened to the Master talk about his hopes for the College in the years ahead, his humility at being the Master to come after a Nobel laureate, and before a former Archbishop of Canterbury, but personally I think he well deserves to stand with them.  Finally he implored us all to raise our glasses in a toast to our college, reminding us of what he had told us all when we arrived as Freshers:  "Magdalene is for life."  We are always members of the college, as he is now too (he's been made a Fellow of the College), and we should all come back and remember that more often.

At around 8:30 PM, the champagne was drying up, and so it wasn't even a question that the three of us would go on somewhere, just me and Fan #1 and #2.  I said a few good-byes, did not invite anyone else to join us, and away we went.

Our first stop was the Ritz Club, because quite randomly Fan #1 turned out to be a member there.  It was so bizarre, as he had to show a membership card to the top-hatted gentlemen at the door, which led us down an elegant staircase into this underground lair below.  Once there, we had to show ID, get our photographs taken, and be signed in as guests of this member.  All very strict and bizarre security procedures.

The bar at the Ritz Club

Finally we were cleared to go into the bar, where apparently there was some break in the action going on of a professional poker tournament.  The entire crowd in the place was male, the only women were the dealers and the women behind the bar.  The women behind the bar were rather interesting, as they were all wearing the same long gowns, slit to the thigh, looking both elegant and overtly sexy at the same time.  Obviously this was a place that knew its typical clientele.

Fan #1 explained how he'd become a member, which was apparently when his wife had arranged for them to spend a weekend with the kids at the Ritz.  And one night while they were staying there, at 1 AM his wife encouraged him to go exploring while she stayed with the kids, and so he went down to find this casino.  Apparently you could gain membership for free if you were a guest at the hotel, and so after asking enough people, he was led through a hidden door behind some mirrors, and made his way down into the club.  It was all a very strange and interesting story...

We each stayed for a whiskey drink, and then Fan #1 seemed to be a fan of staying to check out the restaurant there, but I have to admit I was a bit turned off by the high prices (£30 for a curry??) and suggested that we might check out the Lansdowne.  So while the men fetched their coats, I called the club, and as it was 9:15 and they would stop seating at 9:20, they promised to hold a table for us.

The men came out of the bathroom smelling quite minty fresh, excited to have discovered that the bathroom had pre-loaded toothbrushes.  Kind of made me sorry I hadn't gone to the bathroom, because who wouldn't be a fan of toothbrushes pre-loaded with toothpaste?

We got to the club where indeed, they were waiting for us.  Had a lovely dinner with a starter and a main (the food in the Lansdowne is always good), and then for dessert decided to have a bottle of port in the Nineteen-Thirties Room.  Yes, a bottle.  What on earth were we thinking?  Yet they decanted it for us and brought it downstairs for us, where we proceeded to drink and be merry, and I took them on a little tour of the club.

Having wine in front of the fire in the library

At this point, it was now 11:30pm, which could have been a good time to call it a night, but instead we went to the O and C.  On our way there, Fan #1 wrapped an arm around me, and I found myself pulled up tight against him, somewhat of a challenge to remain in step with him, but nice to be wrapped up warm as we walked.  Once at the club, Fan #2 acquired another bottle of wine for us, and we went upstairs to the library and sat in front of the roaring fire to sit and chat.


I wish I remembered more of our conversation, but such is the downside of wine, it tends to blur the memories a bit.  Yet I do remember we had a fun time pulling books off the nearby shelves and reading the last line of the second paragraph on page 56 to each other.  Came up with quite a few random lines that way!

I also recapped, in dramatic fashion, the entire plotline of "50 Shades of Grey" in a manner which had them in stitches.  (Oh, I can be such a ham when I want to be!)  Which unfortunately came to the fore when Qatari Boy started sending me messages at 1:30 AM (oh dear, what timing!) and they wanted to write back to him.  At least they didn't get too many off before I implored them to write to the Tall South African instead, as I know at least that I can't get too embarrassed with him.  At least that's one person who I know will read all of the funny messages in the morning and just laugh.

Fan #1 in the library

We then continued to talk by the fire until 2 AM, about the usual things like the challenges of life and career in your late 30's, married life, and my ongoing single state. They joked that they often feel like the chats with me are counselling sessions somewhat, but I have to say I do rather enjoy our chances to talk.  Although I did find it amusing when Fan #1 noted how fortunate it was that I have a guy's name, as his wife definitely thinks I'm another guy he's going out with when he tells the stories of these epic nights!

We must have left the club somewhere around 2:30 AM, heading back to the Ritz Club (which of course was still open at this hour).  As we walked, Fan #1 wrapped his arm tightly around me again, holding me close into him.  It was a strangely intimate gesture, as anybody seeing us walking would definitely think we were a couple, as friends do not wrap their arms around each other like that.  Yet, it was truly nothing worse that Kellogg Boy has done with me in the past, so totally innocent, right?  After all, Kellogg Boy has a girlfriend and I don't think means anything by it when he does it, and here Fan #1 is married!  Still, I know Kellogg Boy does it when he hasn't seen his girlfriend in a while and is feeling..."friendly".  And I'd be lying to myself if I didn't know that there hasn't been an attraction on some level between myself and Fan #1 since the day we met.  It's pretty much the entire reason behind our entire friendship, and why he doesn't tell his wife about me.

I'm probably over-thinking it.  We were drunk, it was the middle of the night, and it really was totally innocent.  After all, whatever attraction exists, it's not like we would ever act on it.  And I have to admit, on such a cold and chilly night, it was lovely to be wrapped up warm in the arms of such a lovely man!

We got back to the Ritz Club, and this time went into the casino to check out the tables.  The men decided to hit the roulette table, although I resisted any temptation to gamble myself.  I sat with Fan #1 who explained his strategy and philosophy, which did work well for a while, as his £50 turned into £100.  Yet, it then quickly went south, until all of the money was gone.

The casino floor of the Ritz Club

At least he did better than Fan #2, who couldn't resist the temptation to get out another £50, and eventually dropped £100 at the table.  At least when Fan #1 was tempted to go for another £50, I refused to let him, assuring him that £50 was quite enough money to lose in one night!

In fact, I was reminded why I hate gambling.  As although there was a slight thrill when you won money, the experience of losing was absolutely gut-churning for me.  I hated it.  I was so stressed out, just sitting there at the table (it wasn't even my money!), that I was almost grateful when everyone had lost all of their money and it was time to go home.

Looking for books on the top shelves

Although once all the money was gone, the boys had been given free coffees, so we sat there drinking and talking to the croupier, who had nothing else to do at 3 AM on a Wednesday night besides talk to us, so she was fine with that.  It was interesting, as she was an attractive woman, although a bit more due to the fine application of make-up, dress and hairstyling than any innate beauty.  But you realise that this is an entire industry in London we are unaware of on a day-to-day business, that of the relatively attractive woman who has realised she can make a fortune on the casual tips left by successful gamblers.

Finally, it was around 3:30 AM, and it finally seemed to occur to all of us that we had work in the morning.  Fan #1 had the worst of it, as he needed to get back to Essex.  I checked on my phone how much it would be for an Addison Lee cab, which turned out to be nearly £100.  Yet then when I called my usual cab company, they said they were willing to do it for £70, so after getting the correct postcode from the scary men in top hats at the front door, booked the cab, stood around in the freezing cold with both men, until finally we managed to coordinate with the cab and get Fan #1 tucked into it.  Big kiss as he left, and I tucked my head in under his chin, noting, "I always have such fun when I'm out with you."

Next we got Fan #2 into a cab, and having spent enough money this night myself, I took a night bus.  Finally home at 4 AM, but totally thrilled with an absolutely epic night out.  I love nights like that!