Now normally, I really get my hackles up about immigration policy, given that I do feel that there needs to be a path for hard-working immigrants who want to contribute to the economy to settle permanently in a country. I'm always reminding my friends who rail against immigration that I'm an immigrant, to which they often reply, "Oh, I don't mean immigrants like YOU!" (Right. You mean non-white, poor immigrants).
Yet, the article did at least make a reasonable point, which is that individuals who can't understand English at their citizenship ceremony seem to be poor candidates for citizenship. So we got into an interesting back-and-forth about the need to speak English to make a contribution to society... Turned into quite a funny and interesting debate over text, made all that much more surprising for how out-of-the-blue it was.
Then in the afternoon, the Tall South African called for a quick chat, asking me how things had gone on Saturday. I didn't have much time to get into it, but just told him that it went "weird". Particularly as I've heard almost nothing from CBDG since. Strange talking to the Tall South African about CBDG, particularly when I don't know what to say about it myself.
In the evening, I headed out to my friend EmRae's birthday party in South Kensington, although as I was heading there, got a message on FB from Kellogg Boy's girlfriend, saying she hoped I would come out to the Lansdowne that evening. Argh. I wish people would invite me to stuff with a bit more advance notice, don't they realise that I have plans?
Still, at the party, I had a good time chatting with people, particularly my friend Cookie, who let slip a few secrets that absolutely had my head spinning.
Cookie was originally supposed to get married this past April. The church was booked, the dress was bought, and she owned a flat together with her fiancée, a guy she'd been with for seven years. Then all of a sudden, right before Christmas, he suddenly announced he didn't want to get married any more. She was totally blind sided. So that was a mess. I saw her through that, trying to be supportive and a good friend, but as you might imagine, suddenly carrying a mortgage by yourself, returning the dress, cancelling the church.... No question, she had a rough go of it.
But then she started dating this new guy, and although I'd never met him, things seemed to have returned to a more even keel. All was well.
Now, this past week, apparently her ex-fiancée has realised he made a huge mistake, and wants to get back together. Understandably, she feels like she'll never be able to trust him again, but it's not easy to throw away seven years of history. And plus, there's this new guy, right?
Except it turns out that he's married with kids. Yet, he wants to leave his wife for her. She, understandably, although she likes this guy, is just getting to know him, and doesn't want him to throw away his marriage unless she's sure that she's ready to step in and be a stepmom and take responsibility for an instant family.
She was asking me for advice on what to do, and I kept joking that she should invest in soybean futures, because the truth is I had no idea. On the one hand, there's a part of me that says she should run, as fast as she can, from a married man. Sure, there are all of the excuses, like he married in his 20's and has stayed with his wife for the sake of the kids, but hasn't had a reason to leave before. And there are kids involved.
Yet then what is she supposed to do? Go back to her ex-fiancee? In many ways, that seems like the better option to me, as it would just make things so simple. No worries about buying him out of the house, they could go back to having the wedding, and no worries about throwing away seven years of history. Yet, as she pointed out, how could she ever truly trust him again? I have to admit, it's a pretty major betrayal when a guy asks you to marry him and then backs out of the wedding three months in advance. What a mess.
I guess though it goes to show, that people in relationships don't necessarily have it any better than those of us not in them. I was surprised when talking to EmRae, who was celebrating her 30th birthday, that her boyfriend was over 40, and yet had put up a huge fuss about giving her a key to his flat, and after a year and a half of dating, didn't really seem to want to move things forwards. Given how pretty and fun she is too (and how NOT he is), this surprised the heck out of me. Makes my own love life seems so simple by comparison...
After drinking and talking for a while, we hit one of those natural end points, where we'd finished our wine and Cookie seemed to want to head home. After figuring out that the Young Dutchman was still at the Lansdowne, I hailed a cab, dropped Cookie at South Ken station, and made my way to the Lansdowne.
I was surprised on arrival to see that the Young Scotsman was there, which was quite fortuitous given our conversation that morning. Kind of hilariously, I could tell that he was having difficulty trying to look anywhere but at my chest (I've long known that part of the female anatomy is a weakness of his), but still did seem to enjoy my conversation.
I also found myself talking to Kellogg Boy and his girlfriend quite a bit, and spent a while standing with Kellogg Boy, with him having an arm wrapped around me. I have to admit, we must make an interesting foursome, as Kellogg Boy always seems so frequently to end up chatting with me, and his girlfriend so frequently with the Young Dutchman, and we're all quite affectionate with each other. Yet, if I can think of anyone whose embrace felt more brotherly, it would have to be....my brother! But very sweet, just hanging out and spending time with them. As in the end, although I'd ostensibly come to see the Young Dutchman, I barely ended up speaking to him at all!
I was also surprised to see a friend I used to play polo with there, and we caught up for a while about polo, and then I just went back to talking to the Young Scotsman for a bit. At last it was time to head home (past it, actually, as it was already 12:30 AM), and so I made my way to the bus stop with Kellogg Boy and his girlfriend, and caught the night bus home. It's been a while since I stayed out late enough to do that, but it was good to have a fun night out!
She was asking me for advice on what to do, and I kept joking that she should invest in soybean futures, because the truth is I had no idea. On the one hand, there's a part of me that says she should run, as fast as she can, from a married man. Sure, there are all of the excuses, like he married in his 20's and has stayed with his wife for the sake of the kids, but hasn't had a reason to leave before. And there are kids involved.
Yet then what is she supposed to do? Go back to her ex-fiancee? In many ways, that seems like the better option to me, as it would just make things so simple. No worries about buying him out of the house, they could go back to having the wedding, and no worries about throwing away seven years of history. Yet, as she pointed out, how could she ever truly trust him again? I have to admit, it's a pretty major betrayal when a guy asks you to marry him and then backs out of the wedding three months in advance. What a mess.
I guess though it goes to show, that people in relationships don't necessarily have it any better than those of us not in them. I was surprised when talking to EmRae, who was celebrating her 30th birthday, that her boyfriend was over 40, and yet had put up a huge fuss about giving her a key to his flat, and after a year and a half of dating, didn't really seem to want to move things forwards. Given how pretty and fun she is too (and how NOT he is), this surprised the heck out of me. Makes my own love life seems so simple by comparison...
After drinking and talking for a while, we hit one of those natural end points, where we'd finished our wine and Cookie seemed to want to head home. After figuring out that the Young Dutchman was still at the Lansdowne, I hailed a cab, dropped Cookie at South Ken station, and made my way to the Lansdowne.
I was surprised on arrival to see that the Young Scotsman was there, which was quite fortuitous given our conversation that morning. Kind of hilariously, I could tell that he was having difficulty trying to look anywhere but at my chest (I've long known that part of the female anatomy is a weakness of his), but still did seem to enjoy my conversation.
I also found myself talking to Kellogg Boy and his girlfriend quite a bit, and spent a while standing with Kellogg Boy, with him having an arm wrapped around me. I have to admit, we must make an interesting foursome, as Kellogg Boy always seems so frequently to end up chatting with me, and his girlfriend so frequently with the Young Dutchman, and we're all quite affectionate with each other. Yet, if I can think of anyone whose embrace felt more brotherly, it would have to be....my brother! But very sweet, just hanging out and spending time with them. As in the end, although I'd ostensibly come to see the Young Dutchman, I barely ended up speaking to him at all!
I was also surprised to see a friend I used to play polo with there, and we caught up for a while about polo, and then I just went back to talking to the Young Scotsman for a bit. At last it was time to head home (past it, actually, as it was already 12:30 AM), and so I made my way to the bus stop with Kellogg Boy and his girlfriend, and caught the night bus home. It's been a while since I stayed out late enough to do that, but it was good to have a fun night out!
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