A good friend of mine has been doing internet dating on the site "My Single Friend", and apparently a few weeks ago met a guy who was nice enough, but they didn't really click. Yet they came up with the idea that she should get together some of her female friends, whilst he would round up some of his single male friends, and everybody would meet for a few drinks. Good idea, eh?
Except when the day arrived, all of the girls started dropping like flies, with one having a last-minute work trip to Paris, another going home from work sick, and another with a last-minute conflict. So my friend started calling all of her single friends, except that they all had bizarre excuses (two were recovering from surgery) or had recently started seeing someone.
So I started going through my mental checklist of friends, and was quickly shocked to realise how few of my friends were actually single. When had all of my friends started dating someone and I hadn't noticed? I mean, it's one thing when you have a few married friends, you still assume that so many of the girls you hang out with all of the time are single girls like you. Yet how surprising is it then when you realise that whilst they might not be married, they're actually mostly happily in relationships. When did everybody else jump on the bandwagon and I didn't notice? When did I become the last single girl?
In the end, it was just me and my friend Sara and five guys. I think we held our own, although as soon as I arrived, I knew why Sara had said she didn't "click" with this guy. He was tremendously overweight, on the short side, and really just the kind of guy who obviously didn't quite come out a winner in the overall genetic lottery. And also I've always known that Sara preferred older guys, but even I was a bit surprised by how old so many of them were, it really seemed like we were out with men in their 40's. And perhaps I've been spending too much time with men in their late 20's, but it really just was a bit too old for me, the girl who always goes for younger men!
Well now, remembering my experience with the incredibly overweight chap who yet was so incredibly charming, I kept my mind open to the possibility that some of these men might prove to be the same. Alas, while that chap engaged me with talk of opera and debates about the arts, these boys used the f-word in conversation enough to make me wince, and became annoyingly distressed upon realising that Sara and I had met at Cambridge, and I'd been to Oxford as well. I can only imagine what it would have been like had I revealed I was also a member of a London club and played polo!
Even stranger was that one of the guys was a friend who just came along, but was known to be married, and another was talking enough about his kids to reveal the same thing. Yet neither were wearing wedding rings. What's up with that? I'm pretty sure I'd allow any man I married to pick whatever ring he wanted, and to warn him to pick something comfortable, because I'd expect him to WEAR it.
So yeah, there was just no chance with these men. It was just not my scene, despite that we were in a very chic gastro-pub and all of them were reasonably wealthy bankers. Insert some cliche here about how "you can't buy class" or something like that. So we had a nice time having drinks and even had some dinner, but I was pretty much just trying to make it to the point in the evening where it would be acceptable to go home. Finally made it to that point, and made my escape.
I guess it's like a conversation I was having with my friend Rob on Sunday. When your life is already quite good (great job, great flat, great friends, etc.) you don't really find yourself in that head space where you're desperate to meet someone. Sure, if someone great were to come along, you'd go for it, but you're just not really keen to make too many changes to your situation. So why settle for something that will only make your situation worse, instead of improving on the good?
The one thing that reassured me, was as I struggled to come up with a list of single girls, I could think of tons of great guys I know who are single. They're out there, I just need to find the right one.
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