Recovery Day

I slept until I could sleep no more this morning, and it was glorious.  How wonderful it felt to finally be rested!

I spent most of the day uploading photos on Facebook, figuring that if I didn't do it quickly, I would never get around to it.  Of course however, that led to lots of people commenting and then writing to me, which got me distracted, and just trying to keep up with everyone's chatter.

The trickiest one of course is Irish Boy, who I really like and want to keep going, but I always feel like I take too much time to respond to him.  He's cute, funny, charming, enthusiastic, and seems to take every opportunity to tell me how gorgeous I am.  We've been corresponding back and forth ever since last Monday, except I far too often leave him as being the last one to write, even though I occasionally do engage him in conversation.  And this morning he wrote again, completely unprompted but remembering that I'd had another event yesterday.  God, how I wish he could just live here in London and I could listen to his beautiful chatter all the time...  I need to be smarter about keeping that one going to keep him interested for when he does come back however!  Because I find at the most random moments all I can think about is kissing him again.

I was surprised however to get a message at around 2 PM from the Young Dutchman entitled, "I need to apologise."

In it, he said, "I wanted to apologise for my behaviour over the last two days. I know I can be slightly distracted at the best of times, but reflecting on my behaviour over the last two days it has been pretty appalling, culminating in ditching you guys last night for dinner." 

He went on for a bit about being sick, although acknowledging it was no real excuse, and finally saying, "I just wanted to let you know as I fear I may have come across as a right dick."

The truth is, he really had not been on form, but perhaps more concerning is that I hadn't really noticed or expected any better from him, even when he was throwing a tantrum like a spoiled little boy.  So I caught him on chat and we went back and forth for a bit where I assured him that I loved him anyway, but he still seemed upset with himself.  I left him thinking that perhaps he should be, but he doesn't really need me harping on that point.  He already knows he could have behaved better, and that's enough.  He doesn't need a lecture from me.  

I suppose the dangerous thing however, is that I often can't be bothered to actually call people out on their bad behaviour, I just drop them.  I stop inviting them out, I stop making an effort, I just cut them off without explanation.  As the crowd at dinner was noticing last night, I'm actually the one of our crowd with the most influence.  When you're the one who controls everyone's social life, there's no real need to go out of your way to accommodate people's boorish behaviour.  So the Young Dutchman is perhaps right to be worried, as I never yell at people or lecture them or fight.  I just let them fade away...

We spoke on the phone briefly, and I have to admit he sounded horrific, so perhaps there had been something to his excuse that he was feeling sick.  And goodness knows we're never at our best when we're ill.  

I later got a call from the Tall South African, and although we were on the phone for an hour, I can't even really remember what we talked about.  He'd apparently had an insane night at a Last Tuesday Society party somewhere in the middle of nowhere, that had ended up with him being naked in a hot tub with three girls.  Perhaps an interesting story, which you could tell he wanted to talk about to help him process it, but also he was just feeling a bit ashamed about it too.  Again, he doesn't need a lecture from me, so why bother?

The last call of the evening surprised me most, when I picked up my phone and it was the Young Scotsman!  Now there is someone I haven't spoken to in ages...  I originally assumed he was calling about some club business matter, but as he stayed on the line and talked and talked, I realised he'd called, completely out of the blue, just to talk to me for a half hour.  It was lovely to talk to him, he invited me to a few upcoming events, and I promised I would see him soon.  Yet when I hung up my phone I almost wanted to ask myself, "Did that conversation just happen?"

The boys of my life are surprising me these days...