After an insanely intense gym session in the morning, I went into the office in the afternoon, as I needed to print out a few things and I was due to meet an old acquaintance for drinks after work. This guy had been working in the office when I first started with my company years ago, and we got to know each other just from being in the office together.
It was strange, as he stopped by my desk so frequently that I assumed he was hitting on me, until I realised he was married and assumed I must have been imagining things. Then we went out for drinks one evening, and he followed me from one location to another when I was going to a separate party, and made it pretty clear that he wanted to sleep with me. I turned him down, of course. He bought me a few expensive presents in an attempt to change my mind, and then after we moved on to different positions, I didn't see him much after that and we kept in touch mostly through Facebook. He'd since had a kid and then changed companies, so when out of the blue he got in touch suggesting we grab drinks, I thought, "Why not?"
When I got downstairs to meet him, the first thing that struck me about him was that I'd forgotten he was a bit shorter than I was. Which you don't really notice much with guys who are just friends, but the thing that hit me was how very keen he obviously still was.
Nevertheless, we went for drinks to an overly crowded bar where we had to stand (no space to sit), and we talked about work at first, but then he went for a second bottle of wine and started pressing me on why I'm still single, and then leaned in to sniff my perfume (remembering that he'd once bought me a bottle of perfume, even though I don't wear the stuff). Given that there was nothing to smell, it was obvious that he just wanted to get in close, and I giggled nervously, not sure how to handle it all.
For on the one hand, I've been suffering from a real dearth of male attention lately, so it was flattering to have a guy show at least some interest. Yet, on the other hand, I was still dealing with a married man here. But what's a little harmless flirting, right? After all, it's not like he would do anything given that he was married.
So it totally threw me when he held up his left hand to show me that he was no longer wearing his wedding ring. Apparently lots of trouble in that relationship, and while he didn't necessarily think it was all over, he was mostly pretty sure it was.
Which then had me in a panic as we finished our drinks to go on to our next locations (me to meet the running crew for drinks, him to meet a friend for Japanese whiskey), and he wanted me to come with him or at least split a cab. It took my repeated insistence that Vauxhall was nowhere near Soho, that splitting a cab didn't make sense (no way did I want to be in an enclosed space alone with him) until he finally gave me a kiss on each cheek and let me go.
Flirting is such a tricky game, because it always seems like the guys who you are desperately flirting with have no idea that you are, and the guys you're not flirting with seem to think that you are. I had to admit, my head was spinning, and wondering why I can't seem to get that kind of attention from the guys I want to.
And the worst is, there's no real way to say what I truly want to say: "I like you well enough as a friend, but I'm just not into you that way, even as I enjoy your attention on me." (He had bought all of the drinks that evening, which was rather nice). And I really wouldn't want to get involved with a divorced guy with kids (I've already got Italian Guy for that dilemma, and I like him better).
I got to Vauxhall and managed to find my way through the freezing cold to this party, which I was now 2.5 hours late for. When I found the place, I realised that it was the same place we'd gone for dinner on the day of the Scouse wedding. I'd thought it was small and crowded that day, but it was now on a whole new level, packed with young 20-somethings, and with an overly loud band playing on the lower level.
I could see that they were checking names off a list (there was supposed to be a £7 entry fee) at the bottom of the steps, but I didn't want to pay and discover that nobody I knew was there, so I texted both Princess and Pork Pie to see if they were around. I got no response from Princess, but Pork Pie responded pretty quickly, so when the band stopped playing for a bit, I made my way downstairs (and past the lady checking names, who didn't notice me in the flow of people heading upstairs to the bar to grab a drink).
I got down there and found Princess, his girlfriend, Pork Pie, a girl who I'm not sure whether Pork Pie is still dating or not, the Scouse and his new wife, and Matt. Obviously, I was most delighted to see Matt, and the two of us spent quite some time chatting, although limited by the fact that the noise in this place was so loud, we pretty much had to shout directly in each other's ears.
The place was so crowded as well, that we frequently found ourselves hanging onto the ceiling beams to steady ourselves in the crowds, or just hanging onto each other. Matt went and fetched drinks for the both of us (I was at least doing well with boys buying me drinks this evening), and as we stood there in the basement, drinking beer from plastic cups in an overly noisy and crowded party, I couldn't help but think that it reminded me of being back at a US fraternity party, and there was a reason I hadn't liked those.
Pork Pie disappeared early, but then texted me to explain that he'd had a headache and just hadn't been in the right mood to be out. I thought it was sweet of him to think to text me an explanation, until I compared texts with another friend of his and realised we'd both gotten the same message. When I called him out on this, he replied, "Well you got your text first and then he got a copy so you are MORE IMPORTANT!" Just made me giggle...
Finally, as it was now midnight, we all decided to head home. I walked back to the Tube arm in arm with Princess' girlfriend, a really nice girl who I haven't gotten much of a chance to get to know yet, but she seemed eager to get to know me. Although showing how she doesn't quite know the lay of the land, when Matt and I were hugging and I was joking about heading to Stockwell with him, she gave me a kiss as though we were actually parting. Ah yes, Matt and I are close, but no way am I going south of the river with him!
So I travelled back north with Princess and his girlfriend, leaving them to head west mid-journey. Where I found I had quite a few texts from the old co-worker, so I just sent him a brief message that I was heading home.
When I got out at home however, I found he'd texted me a bunch more times, asking to meet up (at midnight???) and as I was standing there, staring at my phone, I was even more startled when he rang me. Unable to think of what to do, I just rejected the call, only to have him call again within seconds.
Good Lord. He was obviously drunk, and I just didn't want to deal with him at that moment, so remembering what the Tall South African has told me about not answering the phone to drunk people, I let his next call ring out to voicemail, and then turned my phone off to ward off any further calls.
I'd been missing getting male attention lately, but not that kind of male attention, thank you very much!
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