The Millionaire's Party

I think the party I ended up at on Friday night, can be pretty much summed up by the message the host left on the event wall on Sunday:

"Well, if I may say, Friday night was a night of truly vintage proportions. Thank you all for coming along and making the evening such fun. Having done some cursory clearing up, you'll be impressed to hear that we got through c150 bottles of Champagne and wine. Sadly the arrival of Southwark council noise abatement officers at 4am cut short the fun. Items found includes a number of leather, lace and latex garments, handcuffs (!), and various items of female underwear - truly the detritus of a memorable party. These are all safely in my lost property drawer and can be collected when you're next here."

The theme of the party was "Leather and Lace", so I went out and bought a lace dress to wear for the occasion.  Of course, have been feeling a bit larger than usual lately, as my time in the gym has yet to completely erase the effects of being injured for so many months.  I've also got some funky tan lines from being out in the sun watching the Olympics, but hopefully on the whole I looked okay.

Before the party, I met up with my friend Des for drinks at the club.  It was an incredibly warm and sunny day, so we had drinks up on the terrace, which was truly lovely.  Des is such a gentleman, that of course he paid for everything, although it often makes me wonder if Des might have some sort of crush on me that I'm unaware of.  Although then some days I just can't decide if perhaps if Des is gay.  No matter, as he lives in Dublin anyway.

A great guy though, so I was glad for the chance to catch up, even if I did note that he looked a bit worse for wear, kind of exhausted and a bit gaunt looking.  He's apparently combining being a professor with doing private legal work, and while I'm sure he enjoys the challenge, I couldn't help but think it was a bit much.  Still, it was a great opportunity to catch up, and I felt much better about leaving him when he assured me that he was meeting a few friends for dinner that evening, so our quick catch-up had worked out well for both of us.

I then made my way to the Millionaire's flat for the party.  I was a bit nervous about showing up on my own, but determined not to show it.  So I had to smile when the Young Dutchman called to ask when I was going to the party.  We chatted for a bit (him in a low voice since he was still at work at Google), and I assured him I would see him later.

I got to the party, chatted with the Millionaire for a bit, and made polite conversation with random people while eating canapés and drinking wine from the magical never-ending wine glass that was being continually topped up by the roving waiters.  Now, that's a recipe for disaster if ever there was one, but even I was surprised by how all of a sudden things got fuzzy.  What on earth was in that wine?

After a while Sophie called me, and after I reassured her on the phone that she could change once she arrived at the party (she'd been at trapeze), she came along.  A while later, the Young Dutchman rang me, and asked me to hand my phone over to the Millionaire.  Apparently he was asking if he could bring extra guests, because he later showed up with Kellogg Boy, one of the guys he rows with (who I had met before), and two random girls I didn't know.

I can't really keep track of how much time passed, but at one point I found myself down in a super-fancy massage chair while another girl had fun playing with the settings for me (felt nice, I do admit), exploring the house (there was a stunning view, a cramped dining room, and a bedroom that felt like a dark dungeon), and just passing the party in a blur.  At one point I could swear I saw Kellogg Boy making out with a girl who was definitely NOT his girlfriend, but the Young Dutchman just pulled me away and assured me that we were going to forget about what we'd seen at this party and never mention it.  (The next morning, when the Young Dutchman was in a lot better shape than I was, I realised that he hadn't been drinking too much but had simply been on drugs, probably Ecstasy.  If other people, including Kellogg Boy, were on E as well, that probably explains a lot).

Also unfortunately, the Tall South African had earlier invited me to a BBQ at his place, and somehow I ended up texting back and forth with him when my brain was definitely in no shape for it.  (I often do this with whomever the last person I was talking to was).  Among the insightful things I told him, was at 3:45 AM, I was "Now texting from [the Young Dutchman's] chest..."  Indeed, I found myself curled up on the couch with the Young Dutchman, and having trouble holding my phone, laid it down on his chest and used that as a flat surface from which to write.  Definitely telling, for anyone who suspects anything romantic is going on between us, as it did not even occur to me until the next day how dodgy that must have looked.  There I was, drunk as a skunk, curled up on a couch with the guy I like more than almost anyone in the world, and the only thought going through my head was, "Hey, this will make a good flat surface!"

At this point, I noticed that the giant flat screen television in the middle of the room had been switched on, and was now showing a night vision CCTV feed to the bedroom downstairs.  What on earth?  This was now truly bizarre, I was having trouble figuring out what was going on, and so I realised it was time to go home.  Plus, it was nearly 4 AM.

So I somehow managed to use the app on my phone to book a taxi, and the Young Dutchman said he would come home with me.  Vaguely I realised that it was a bit strange that the Young Dutchman would be coming home with me, and not taking one of the girls he'd arrived with, which is unusual for him.  We then gave hugs to the guy he rows with, while the Young Dutchman explained that he didn't have space for anybody to stay with him, and we didn't say anything to Kellogg Boy (who was still quite involved with the girl who was not his girlfriend).

Then we piled into the cab, and once we were near Hyde Park Corner the Young Dutchman jumped out, and I went the rest of the way home.  Got back to my flat, tried to guzzle some water, flopped into bed, and was pretty quickly off to sleep, while thinking that had been one of the stranger parties I've ever been to!