Happy 4th of July!

Despite that I saw Joel just last week at my birthday, he surprised me by saying that we should meet again for drinks only a week later, because we hadn't gotten enough one-on-one time with each other.  Given that I often struggle to nail Joel down more than once a month, this was surprising, particularly when he so urgently called me over the course of a few days trying to catch me to arrange it.  I feel like something is going on with Joel, but in a rare circumstance, I find myself lacking my usual ESP with regards to him, and so I'm not quite sure what it is.

In the morning he called me, which always makes me nervous with Joel, as he's far too often calling to cancel.  Indeed, when I answered the phone, the first thing he said was, "It's not a complete disaster!"  (Not quite the words any girl hopes to hear when you're supposed to be going out that evening).  Apparently he'd forgotten to wear a suit to work and now needed to go home anyway, and so suggested that instead of meeting at the club for drinks, we instead meet at his place for pizza and beer.  Actually quite a nice alternate plan, so I agreed.

In the afternoon, I went to the gym, accepted many kind wishes for a happy 4th of July from those people who remembered I'm an American, and then went and bought some Sam Adams beer at the store.  It was insanely expensive (£1.99 per bottle of beer!) but I figured we needed to have a real American beer today.

I got quite a laugh then when a few hours later Joel called to push back our meeting time (as I had suspected he might) and then urged me to bring some beer, which I told him I'd already taken care of, that the American lagers were currently cooling in my fridge.  To which Joel laughed and said, "Well, that's because you are just the perfect human."

Finally it was time for us to meet, so I set out for Putney.  Yet, because this is Joel, he can't just be like a normal person and tell me his address.  It's one of his stranger personality quirks, but Joel never tells anyone where he lives, to the point where many people have wondered if he's homeless.  Every single time I've gone to meet Joel at a place he lives, he's insisted on meeting me in some public place and then leading me to the location, as though I'm some sort of Red Cross worker who needs to be blindfolded to go meet the hostages.  At least I do get to see where he lives however, as everyone else claims that plans to go see his place always seem to fall through at the last minute.  He's even had entire relationships lasting nearly a year, where the girl has never seen his place.  It's bizarre.

I found myself waiting at the station for quite a bit then while I waited for Joel to turn up, sending him text messages the entire time about how he was a weirdo and he should just tell me his address.  He finally arrived however, we walked to the local Dominos to pick out a pizza, and then realising that we had 10 minutes to wait while it cooked, we went out and enjoyed beers at a pub nearby in the sunshine.

I talked a bit about my job, engaging in my usual tactics to get Joel to talk, making the conversation seem about myself and give him openings to talk about what's on his mind.  Another one of Joel's quirks (and where so many girls go wrong with him), is that he's the classic introvert and you can't just ask him questions outright, particularly about anything personal.  You have to get him to relax and open up, to the point where he doesn't know how he's told you so much.

He talked quite a bit about a friend in Greece who is getting married soon, where he is the best man and he wants to organise a stag weekend in London.  He brushed aside my concerns that women don't go on stag weekends, assuring me it wouldn't be like that, he wanted a mixed group of old Cambridge friends, and he wanted me there.  (Even though, to be honest, I don't know the groom that well!)

When we had finished our drinks, we got the pizza and walked back to Joel's place, which turned out to be a stunningly beautiful one-bedroom garden flat.  I was so stunned that he lived in such a nice place, it came as a real shock.  Who knew this is where Joel was hiding?

We got our pizza and beers and sat out in the back garden, enjoying the sunshine and the space, and the beautiful roses blooming everywhere.  When it got darker and the bugs started coming out, we moved inside and continued chatting, where I got to hear a bit more about his current relationship, a girl who he likes but doesn't see a future with.

Although to be honest, with Joel, that is every girl.  He's a bit like George Clooney that way, in that he's actually quite happy to just perpetually be in relationships that don't lead to marriage and children.  I know he's a bit turned off by the idea due to the fact that his parents are divorced and actively loathe each other, he's only known marriage to end badly and horribly.

Yet it's more than that as well, as Joel hates letting anyone in.  He claims the current girl is fine with his reluctance to talk or share his thoughts on almost anything, although that did make me wonder, "What on earth do you two talk about?"  He apparently even went on a "meet the parents" weekend recently, which I always feel is a bit deceptive with Joel, as I think it leads all the parties involved to think he's more invested in the relationship than he really is.

In the end, as it was getting late, he walked me back to the Tube, talking along the way about how his divorced sister had a girlfriend who claimed their are "givers" and "drainers" in the world, and the problem is that their are too many "drainers" who are attracted to "givers".  And of course, he put me on the "giver" side.  He may be right about that, but I assured him that all of the self-centred "drainers" still do provide me with amusement and entertainment, so I'm happy keeping them around.

When we got to the Tube, he surprised me as well by instead of leaving me at the gates, using his Oyster card to go past the barriers and up to the Tube platform with me,  Where we stood looking out over the city skyline that we could see in the distance, standing together and pointing out the sights, until the train arrived and he put me on it.

I never did quite figure out what was going on in Joel's mind, except that he assured me that he wanted to see me more frequently, that every time we get together he remembers how much he enjoys being with me.  And then when I got home, I found he'd written to me:

"Last night was SO lovely, Miss L, thank you.

You actually became the first person I’ve had round to Putney ever, so I hope this emphasises your substantial importance in Joeland."

As I told him back, I think we're just both quite lucky that the person we like most seems to feel equally the same back about us.  And perhaps this is why Joel likes me so much, in that he doesn't like to let anyone in, but somehow turned around and found me already there, after a decade of just determinedly not letting him go.  And so if I am the only person he lets in, who really "gets" him, well then even if he never marries or settles down or anything like that, I have a feeling I will always be the most important girl in Joel's life...  

The movie set

The fun of the evening didn't end there however, as when I got back home, I found I was blocked from going home by a movie production filming at the end of my street!  So I got to stand around while I saw Kate Hudson and James Franco film scenes for a movie.  Kind of surreal and weird, as so much was set up to happen, from the fake moonlight to the extras standing to the side, ready to walk across the scene at the essential moment.  A strange 30-minute delay in getting home, but quite fascinating watching how movies get made!  Watch out for "Good People", coming to theatres in 2014!