Boring Days of Recovery

So you wonder, "What is it like, in the days immediately after ACL surgery?"

Answer:  It is very, very, VERY boring.

Now I realise that modern medicine is utterly amazing.  Only three days ago, surgeons cut into my knee, removed one of my hamstrings, fashioned it into an ACL, drilled through my bones, threaded it through and stapled it into place.  Pretty amazing surgery, and I'm up, walking around, climbing stairs and just doing pretty well with life overall.  Additionally, I was extraordinarily lucky, in that it turned out I had no secondary injuries, no meniscal tears or anything like that, so when I destroyed my ACL, I did a nice and clean whack job of it.  The surgery went incredibly smoothly, and the surgeon couldn't have hoped for things to go better.  I'm almost entirely pain-free, and need only the occasional paracetemol, I'm in such good shape.

And yet.

Here's how my days generally go:  Wake up, grab crutches, hobble into bathroom, get into shower (with crutches), attempt to lean crutches against wall outside of shower, crutches fall on floor, curse, get out of shower, pick up crutches, use crutches to get back into shower, successfully place crutches within easy grabbing distance outside of shower, turn on water, forget that it comes on "Ice Cold Blast" setting when first turned on and now you're standing right under it (because you don't normally need crutches to get into the shower).  Shriek with freezing surprise (but at least you're awake now!), manage to complete shower while spending entire time standing on one leg.  Note that after three days, you still haven't managed to scrub off where they wrote on your leg, "This knee.  Not that one."  At least you know they weren't taking any chances.

Finish shower, turn off water, grab towel, get dry enough so that your hands won't slip on crutches, use them to get out of shower.  Check that waterproof bandages are all still in place, dry off, get dressed and put on hideous "compression knee socks" which the surgeon is making you wear because giant bandages all over your knee don't make you look weird enough.  Bright white knee socks are obviously also necessary to complete the look.

Sit down, have breakfast (thanks Mom!) and note that it's 11 AM.  WHAT???  Yes, it takes this long to get showered and dressed now, because everything takes ages now that you're hobbling everywhere on crutches.

Decide you want to get out of your flat and go for a walk.  Put on trainers (over hideous compression socks), grab crutches, start down stairs.  Follow pattern of: 1) Crutches, 2) Bad leg, 3) Good leg.  One step at a time.  Three-step-process.  Three flights of stairs.  Damn this takes forever.

Get down to the street 30 minutes later.  Hurrah!  Now time to walk down the street:  First crutches, then bad leg, then good leg.  Can't take large strides due to hamstring injury (they took one to make the new ACL), so generally moving one foot at a time in tedious 3-step process.  Note that a little old lady is heading for the same intersection that you are in her zimmerframe.  She's about 4-feet tall and completely hunched over, moving at a snail's pace as she slowly creaks along.  Become determined to beat her to the intersection.  Fail.  Suffer further embarrassment when she totally laps you by changing her mind on which direction she wants to go, comes up behind you and completely blows past you.  Humiliation is complete when she looks behind her to see why somebody is huffing and puffing behind her, to see you struggling to keep up behind her.

After taking 2 hours to complete what is normally a 30-minute journey to Tesco and back, return home to take a nap with ice on your knee.  Because yes, you're so exhausted from your little excursion, you need a nap.  Write e-mails.  Watch some TV (catching up on Mad Men!) go to bed, realising the list of accomplishments for the day is woefully short.  But tomorrow is another one!